As a psychologist and sexologist, we've been studying relationships for more than 50 years combined, and we've found that no matter how you slice it, most of them fail because of poor communication.
The main reasons why relationships fail are loss of trust, poor communication, lack of respect, a difference in priorities, and little intimacy.
Non-acceptance, lack of trust, and poor communication will kill any relationship. The good news is that you can avoid these common killers of relationships by identifying them when they come up, looking within, and committing to doing the hard work required to make your relationship last.
One dating partner lies to or keeps information from the other. One dating partner steals from the other. Disrespect. One dating partner makes fun of the opinions and interests of the other partner or destroys something that belongs to the partner.
You don't trust
One is trusting your partner enough to know that s/he won't cheat on you or otherwise hurt you — and to know that he or she trusts you that way, too. The other is trusting them enough to know they won't leave you or stop loving you no matter what you do or say.
Red flags in a relationship include excessive jealousy and frequent lying. You should also be wary of a partner who frequently criticizes you or puts you down. Another major red flag is an unwillingness to compromise — relationships shouldn't be one-sided.
The most common reasons people say they fall out of love are a loss of physical intimacy, a loss of trust, a loss of feeling loved, emotional pain, often driven by grief over feeling lonely, and negative views of oneself (poor self-image, feeling like a failure) driven by feeling rejected by a partner.
Lack of commitment, financial challenges, and infidelity are some of the leading causes of divorce in the world. But your age and culture may change it all. Relationship survival usually requires a blend of open communication, intimacy, and empathy.
Money is one of the most common issues that cause conflict in a relationship. Whether it's having different financial resources, different views about the importance of money, or different spending habits, money issues can cause tension in a relationship.
Blame and shame. Aside from all-out abusive behavior, blaming and shaming may be the fastest way to kill your connection. Both behaviors communicate contempt for your partner, displaying that you view him or her as beneath you or deserving of scorn.
Studies have shown that relationships generally end within 3 to 5 months from the day they begin.
The first year of the relationship is the hardest stage, and even when you're living together, you still discover new things about each other every day. How to Survive: The key to getting past the discovery stage is also discovery. The discovery of your partner's imperfections and your imperfections as well.
The four behaviours are Blaming, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling. Relationship expert Dr John Gottman termed these "The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" as they spell disaster for any personal or professional relationship.
If both partners are giving equally, the relationship will work. But if your partner takes you for granted or doesn't respect you, that means trouble. Sometimes this is a result of relationship stressors that can be fixed. If you feel deeply that your partner no longer values you, it could be time to leave.
Why do people lose “the spark” anyways? Long distances, contradicting schedules, or growing resentment are all common reasons couples lose their spark—otherwise known as chemistry or a particularly strong connection.
conflict– if there is ongoing conflict in your relationship, it can be difficult to develop intimacy. It is not easy to feel close to someone you are arguing with. Anger, hurt, resentment, lack of trust, or a sense of being unappreciated can all affect intimacy.
Contempt: Expressing a lack of respect for our partners (e.g., name-calling, eye-rolling, ridiculing). Criticism: Attacking a partner's character. Defensiveness: Protecting from criticism by using excuses or shifting blame. Stonewalling: Withdrawing from communication by ignoring, zoning out or acting busy.