OPENING WORDS: Family and friends, I welcome you into this gathering which is made sacred with the spirit of love and friendship you bring to this gathering.
For your opening statement, introduce yourself and who you were to the deceased. For example: “Hello everyone, for those of you that don't know me, I'm Jim and I'm Flora's oldest grandchild.” “Hi everybody, as Lisa just mentioned, my name is Tracey, and Anthony was my best friend from the age of 5.”
If you don't know them very well, a simple 'I'm sorry for your loss' is fine, although it is often better if you can say something about the person who has died, for example 'I'm so sorry that you've lost your Dad (his name), he was a lovely man and I know we'll miss him very much.
Visitation, Wake or Viewing
Held the night before or immediately prior to the funeral service, the visitation – also called a wake or a viewing – provides a way for friends and acquaintances to pay respects and offer condolences. If a casket is present, you can choose to have an open or closed casket.
A eulogy, also known as a funeral speech, is a loving way for someone close to the deceased to pay their respects during the ceremony. The speech typically reflects on the life and achievements of the person who has died, paying tribute to their personality and memory.
1. The deceased's religious leader. In many communities, the deceased's priest, pastor, rabbi, or minister writes and gives the eulogy at the funeral. If the religious leader knew the deceased personally, he or she would probably add personal stories, especially those that tell the story of the person's faith.
A funeral reception is a post-funeral gathering where friends and family members can come together to celebrate and remember the life of their loved one. The reception typically follows immediately after the funeral service. It is relatively simple to plan a funeral reception.
Mortician and undertaker are synonymous with the title of funeral director the only difference being mortician is an American term and undertaker is more British.
A funeral recessional marks the end of the funeral service. Again, the officiant will lead the way, followed by the pallbearers who carry the casket out. Family and friends of the deceased then follow. Typically, a member of the family will give thanks to the remaining guests at the ceremony.
It's best to wait until the funeral service is over to greet the family, unless they're greeting people before the service. If you aren't close with the family, make sure to introduce yourself and explain your relationship to their deceased loved one.
End your eulogy with a simple goodbye statement like "I know I will never have to say goodbye to my mom's soul, but today we all need to say goodbye to her body." or "Goodbye Dad, until we meet again."
First Section – Introduction: In the opening section, you need to cover a few basic pieces of information before moving onto the main section of the eulogy. Set the tone by beginning with a poem, quote, or scripture that was meaningful to the person. Names they were known by, including nicknames and maiden names.
A brief overview of their life, including key milestones. Your favorite memories with them, including a specific anecdote or two. Details about their relationships with close family and friends. Any significant accomplishments related to career, interests, or hobbies.
Sample Eulogy
She worked hard to provide for her family, making sure they were warm and fed and got to school on time every day, no matter what. Most of all, she made sure that anyone who stepped into her house felt loved and safe, no matter where they came from or where they were going.
Family closest to the person who has passed will ultimately have the final say in who delivers the funeral speeches. The eulogy itself is typically given by a close family member, friend or a minister.
Pallbearers are used in funerals or burials that include a coffin or casket. They carry the coffin from one point to the next throughout the service. Traditionally, there are six pallbearers to align with each of the six handles on the sides of the coffin.
Perhaps the simplest way to host a funeral reception is to have everyone but the bereaved family brings food for a potluck-style meal. They should also bring family-friendly drinks like juice, tea, water, and soda. Make sure you also have a coffee maker and coffee.
If you find yourself with a small intimate group of people after a funeral or memorial service, you may want to provide a toast. If you decide to do so, be extra careful with what you say. Your tone should have a somber edge and any jokes should not be at the expense of the deceased or the mourning.
We sometimes hear the after-funeral reception is referred to as a “repast.” Historically, the repast was a meal shared by close friends and family after the funeral. In modern times, the nature of the repast has evolved to include larger gatherings. For some, a close intimate meal is still the order of the day.
Speaking at a memorial service is an honour. It gives you the privilege of paying respect to the person who has died, and of helping those who have gathered for the event. Speaking at your father's funeral is a special way of honouring him and the relationship you had with him.
How long should a eulogy be? Try to keep your eulogy to between 1000 and 1300 words. The ideal talking pace is around 120 words per minute; so, a eulogy of these lengths at that pace would take 8 to 10 minutes.