In America, the preferred personality type is the ESTJ – the polar opposite of the INFJ. With the INFJ personality type being so rare and the culture at large favoring your opposite, it can be easy to feel left out, broken, misunderstood, and unappreciated.
Again, opposite to the INFJ is the INFP, who will appear less organized and less controlled than the INFJ to others. Still, since their primary function is a Judging function, Introverted Feeling, there's a lot of internal organization others don't see outside the INFP's head.
The best matches for INFJs include intuitive types such as INTJ, INFP, and ENFJ. INFJs are the least compatible with sensors, especially ESTJs, ESTPs, and ESFPs. INFJ-INFJ relationships can be emotionally fulfilling yet difficult if both INFJs aren't willing to openly discuss relationship problems.
ESTPs are sometimes referred to as “the Persuader,” “the Dynamo,” “the Adventurer,” or “the Entrepreneur.” INFJ is the opposite personality type of ESTP. People with this personality type tend to be action-oriented, taking logical approaches to obtain results and solve problems quickly.
INFJs are no exception to this rule, and when they become overly stressed they may display a dark side that includes angry outbursts, obsessive worrying, perfectionism, or even depression. When INFJs first encounter stress, they start to behave very true-to-type.
INFJs' only true enemy is themselves, or more specifically, their inner critic. However, some personality types may be difficult for INFJs to get along with including: ESTJs: They are often seen as being too blunt, dominant, and insensitive for INFJs.
Kindness. As sensitive personalities, INFJs feel attracted to people who show kindness towards others.
On the surface, the INFJ and INFP personalities appear very similar. These two introverted Myers-Briggs personality types are both creative, idealistic, and focused on helping others.
The Shadow Functions of the INFJ Personality Type:
Shadow functions are the less conscious sides of our personality type. They can be experienced in positive or negative ways, but they're far less mature than our “ego-syntonic” functions (dominant, auxiliary, tertiary, inferior).
INFJs can mesh with almost anyone. INFJs are social chameleons. While we definitely have a preference for introversion, others are often surprised by this, seeing us as extraverted types.
Many consider the ENTP and INFJ to be a match made in heaven, but I believe INTPs and INFJs can also make a great team. These two personalities may not share exactly the same personality traits, but they are definitely complementary.
When I surveyed INFJs about their flirting styles, more than anything, they expressed a deep desire to connect emotionally with someone they liked. They will be more emotionally open, express more of their deeper longings, and become more vulnerable with you if they like you.
INFJs preferring Quality Time and/or Words of Affirmation is also supported by a survey conducted by Heidi Priebe. According to Priebe's survey, 35.67% of INFJs list “Quality Time” as their preferred love language.
At their best, INFJs make modest, reliable teammates, and allow others to take the lead. INFJs may undervalue their own needs, ideas, and contributions, acting overly shy and not taking credit when due. At their worst, INFJs can be excessively submissive, ineffectual, and too dependent on direction from others.
In my experiences coaching INFJs, I've noticed that they fall on two ends of this spectrum quite frequently. More often than not, I find INFJs who desperately want time alone to process, analyze, and intuit. Yet these INFJs feel hyper-responsible for others and have an incessant itch to take care of people.
INFJs are unique for many reasons, and not just because they're rare. They are also quiet, sensitive people who are full of contradictions and can seem like several different people, even to those who've known them for years.
Unsurprisingly, they can get stressed out by uncertainty and a lack of organization, and they're the most likely personality type to say they feel really anxious in unpredictable situations. This feeling is especially common among Turbulent Advocates, given their sensitivity to stress.
This includes ENFJs and ESFJs, for whom the Fe function is dominant, and INFJs and ISFJs, who have an auxiliary Fe function. The feeling functions in these types are focused outward rather than inward, and their desire for social harmony and happiness motivates their mirroring behavior.
This stare is deeply focused, direct, and often induces a feeling of vulnerability. When an INFJ gives you the stare, it feels as if they're looking beyond your eyes, into the very depths of your soul. Depending on your personality type, you might find this disturbing, intimidating, or even fascinating!
While many individuals feel that their personality type is distinct, the INFP and INFJ personality types are commonly confused, as the qualities of these personalities appear quite similar at first glance.
INFJs and ENFPs also make for great friends. Their inverted cognitive functions complement each other extremely well, which can often lead to INFJs suggesting solutions that someone with an ENFP personality would never think of on their own, and vice versa.
As an INFJ, the other MBTI types I've found to understand me best are INTP, INTJ, and ENTP.
Exercising alone is helpful, and some INFJs find great solace in nature. Other stress busters include light reading, writing in a journal or meditation.
As thinkers, INFJs excel at metacognitive thinking where they're thinking about their own thinking. They have a solid ability to pull back and evaluate their own motivations and thought processes when they take the time to do so.
Extraverted Sensing is the INFJ's weakest cognitive function, and that can create some real challenges.