In Hebrews 12:15, the Holy Spirit speaks of a “root of bitterness” which is often the cause of the greatest difficulty for men. When bitterness is allowed to develop in the heart, the end result is defilement. Bitterness and genuine gratitude to God cannot coexist.
Bitterness starts when we cling to anger and resentment and start holding a grudge. Instead of responding with forgiveness or love, we may let our negative emotions grow and treat others with passive-aggressive behavior, hostility or disdain.
bitterness. See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled (Heb. 12:15).
That is the context of Hebrews 12:14-15. The soil of bitterness is a heart that harbors hostility and does not deal with hurt by the grace of God. When someone becomes bitter, the bitterness takes root in the heart and grows deeper. The world is full of people who have not dealt with an old hurt.
What does the Bible say about bitterness? Bitterness is defined as anger and disappointment at being treated unfairly. It is synonymous with resentment and envy. One of the most well-known stories of bitterness in the Bible is the archetypal tale of Cain and Abel.
Curing The Bitter Heart
Bitterness is focused on what has been done to you. To break up bitterness, you must also be willing to look at what you have done to others. Your task is to admit what your responsibility is in the matter and go to those you have hurt, confess your sin, and first seek their forgiveness.
Tips Overcoming Bitterness and Resentment Through Talk
First, talking about the past with someone you trust is vital. It's also important that you find somebody who will encourage and offer honest feedback. Be sure to speak from your perspective. Focus on your experience rather than what the person did to offend you.
Sweetness is the antidote to bitterness.
In psychology, the emotional reaction and mood of bitterness is referred to as 'embitterment'. It is an emotional state of feeling let down and unable to do anything about it. Embitterment is different than anger because although it involves the same outrage it also involves feeling helpless to change things.
Bitterness is defined as an attitude of extended and intense anger and hostility. It is often joined by resentment and a desire to “get even." It is the result of not forgiving someone and letting hurt and anger grow until the pain and resentment hurt the person's view of life.
Join a support group or see a counselor. Acknowledge your emotions about the harm done to you, recognize how those emotions affect your behavior, and work to release them. Choose to forgive the person who's offended you. Release the control and power that the offending person and situation have had in your life.
The Bible tells us that the best way to lose bitterness is to be forgiving. In Ephesians 4:32, Paul wrote, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
There is no one cause of resentment, but most cases involve an underlying sense of being mistreated or wronged by another person. Experiencing frustration and disappointment is a normal part of life. When the feelings become too overwhelming, they can contribute to resentment.
Regret, embarrassment, shame, and guilt from a single mistake can haunt you for years. And the ensuing negative thoughts, stress, and pessimistic outlook can create a dynamic in which you view the world in a bitter way—all because you feel that you are unworthy of feeling OK.
Eventually, things will get better after we've walked out forgiveness for a time. We'll even begin to learn that the experience that caused the bitterness and resentment can result in something more positive.
Bitter individuals often operate from a blaming and non-empathic perspective. In their personal and professional relationships, bitter men and women often blame others when things go wrong or when things do not work out as they wanted or expected.
The book of Hebrews warns us about allowing bitterness to take root: “See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no 'root of bitterness' springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled” (Hebrews 12:15).
Why is bitterness so damaging? Stress hormones. The negative emotions attached to bitterness can influence stress responses and release the hormone cortisol. Chronically high levels of this hormone can affect the immune system and increase the odds of disease.
Holding on to bitterness can affect metabolism, immune response or organ function and lead to physical disease, researchers say.
If you have low self-esteem, poor coping skills, were embarrassed by the hurt, and/or have a short temper you may be even more likely to hold a grudge. While we all may fall into holding an occasional grudge, some people may be more prone to hanging on to resentments or anger than other people.
We are commanded to “let all bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander be removed from you, along with all malice” (Ephesians 4:31). So, how do we go about removing those evil roots? Pray — ask God to reveal the root of your bitterness (Hebrews 4:12).
The key to fighting bitterness is forgiveness. When you forgive, you let the other person off the hook for their wrongs. You can hand your hurt over to God, who will handle it with perfect justice. Then you can step into freedom instead of being held in the bondage of bitterness.