Control is typically a reaction to the fear of losing control. People who struggle with the
Causes of Controlling Behavior
The most common are anxiety disorders and personality disorders. People with anxiety disorders feel a need to control everything around them in order to feel at peace. They may not trust anyone else to handle things the way they will.
Particularly in chronic trauma—continued exposure to domestic violence, abuse of any form, war, poverty, and others—victims usually reported that they felt powerless to stop or change their circumstances. Victims of chronic trauma may lose the ability to make decisions in their lives.
As for personality disorders, control issues are common. Controlling behaviors are symptoms of several personality disorders, including histrionic personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, and narcissistic personality disorder.
Set boundaries
You don't always have to say “no” to a controlling person; after all, there may be times when his or her opinion is helpful and sound. But constantly agreeing just to keep the peace will only reinforce the controlling behavior and establish it as the norm.
Histrionic personality disorder (HPD): A person with HPD may be demanding of attention, which leads to manipulation and control-seeking behavior. Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD): A person with NPD exhibits controlling behaviors due to needing excessive admiration and lacking empathy for others.
Losing control might happen when we are triggered by something which reminds our mind or our body of our trauma. Trauma affects the way our nervous system functions by over stimulating the sympathetic nervous system.
It may be possible for a controlling person to change their behavior over time with psychotherapy if a relationship is unhealthy and not abusive. However, if a relationship involves abuse, a person's behavior could escalate to physical violence.
They are terrified of failure, particularly their own and of being unable to fathom the consequences when things go wrong. There is a core of fearfulness or anxiety about their own limitations (often unexplored), a worry about not being respected and a distrust in the ability of others to do what they ask of them.
A controlling person is someone who attempts to maintain control, authority, and/or decision-making power over other people and situations. Controlling behavior can include everything from directly telling someone what they can or cannot do to more discreet methods like guilt-tripping, gaslighting, possessiveness.
The control function can be viewed as a five-step process: (1) establish standards, (2) measure performance, (3) compare actual performance with standards and identify any deviations, (4) determine the reason for deviations, and (5) take corrective action if needed.
The lack of a sense of control can leave us feeling anxious, worried, or fearful when we don't think we should be. When you feel a vague, nagging worry, tension, edginess, or irritability but, frustratingly, can't identify a reason, perhaps the anxiety is connected to sense of control.
Definition. Loss of control generally refers to lack of the ability to provide conscious limitation of impulses and behavior as a result of overwhelming emotion. States of agitation such as fighting, screaming, and uncontrollable weeping are most often thought of as behavior illustrative of loss of control.
Control is linked to an ability to take preventative action and to feel healthy (Mirowsky & Ross, 1991). An impairment of control is associated with depression, stress, and anxiety-related disorders (Abramson et al., 1989; Chorpita & Barlow, 1998; Mirowsky & Ross, 1999; Shapiro, Schwartz, & Astin, 1996).
Type C personalities tend to be quite controlling, both of themselves and others. They don't like things to get out of hand and may appear stoic because they don't really want themselves to display a lot of emotion. They're very outcome-driven and will be sticklers for following protocol.
Controlling, or manipulative behaviour is one of the key traits of a personality disorder called psychopathy. Thomas Erikson: Psychopaths, they are drawn to control, they are drawn to power, they are drawn to attention as a part of their narcissistic behaviour.
Don't try to control a control freak.
Judith Orloff advises, "Be healthily assertive rather than controlling. Stay confident and refuse to play the victim. Most important, always take a consistent, targeted approach." Control freaks love a good power struggle; playing into it never ends well.
Control freaks are often perfectionists. They may manipulate or pressure others to change so as to avoid having to change themselves. Control freaks sometimes have similarities to codependents, in the sense that the latters' fear of abandonment leads to attempts to control those they are dependent on.
Two common insecure relationship positions include what is referred as “Controllers” and “Dependents.” Controllers as Toxic: The “controller” has an authoritarian attitude, they seek control and power, blame others and have a hard time accepting responsibility.
Three basic types of control systems are available to executives: (1) output control, (2) behavioral control, and (3) clan control. Different organizations emphasize different types of control, but most organizations use a mix of all three types.