Unhealthy jealous behavior happens when we indulge that feeling and act impulsively from a place of suspicion and insecurity. When insecurity in our relationships run rampant, jealousy can rapidly grow into paranoia and obsession and threaten to destroy the very relationship we're most afraid to lose.
Toxic jealousy becomes a dysfunctional way to get unmet, but very normal, childhood needs for affection and genuine care met in adulthood. Think of toxic jealousy as a giant tantrum, the equivalent of a 4-year-old yelling and flailing about on the floor to get what he or she wants, and to get it immediately.
Unhealthy Jealousy
Eventually, jealous people feel so overwhelmed by their emotions and insecurities that they begin to exert control over their partners. They may resort to financial abuse, verbal bullying, and violence in order to maintain control and alleviate or mask their feelings.
Sometimes feeling a twinge of jealousy is a sign there's something you need to work on in a relationship or some aspect of that relationship isn't going how you want it to be going. But, unchecked, consuming jealousy can be toxic and destroy relationships.
Jealousy can be a sign of insecurity. Jealousy is a fear of losing something you already have, like a relationship or friendship. People who deal with jealousy may often feel threatened by other people. You may also feel that you are in competition with others, even if you're not.
Research has identified many root causes of extreme jealousy, including low self-esteem, high neuroticism, and feeling possessive of others, particularly romantic partners. Fear of abandonment is also a key motivator.
Jealousy may be driven by low self-esteem or a poor self-image. If you don't feel attractive and confident, it can be hard to truly believe that your partner loves and values you. Other times, jealousy can be caused by unrealistic expectations about the relationship.
Extreme Jealously
When jealousy creeps into a romantic relationship, it can often fester into controlling tactics to assert dominance. “Do not ignore this red flag because it could also lead to an abusive and controlling situation,” says Kelman.
It is natural to feel jealous every once in a while, but in the long-term, it can have a negative impact on the individual and their relationships. Common symptoms of jealousy include resentment, frustration, impatience, anger, and general unpleasantness.
Psychologists generally agree that jealousy is a dis- turbing experience that combines the emotions of anger, anxiety, betrayal, and hurt when one feels that a valued relationship is threatened by a third party.
While delusional jealousy is a mental health condition in its own right, jealous delusions are more likely to be experienced by those who have been diagnosed in the past with: Anxiety disorders.
Pathological jealousy, also known as morbid jealousy, Othello syndrome or delusional jealousy, is a psychological disorder in which a person is preoccupied with the thought that their spouse or sexual partner is being unfaithful without having any real proof, along with socially unacceptable or abnormal behaviour ...
Anxious individuals tend to experience higher levels of jealousy (Buunk, 1997), suspicion and worry that their partner will leave them for someone else (i.e., cognitive jealousy; Guerrero, 1998), and respond to jealousy-inducing situations with elevated levels of fear, sadness, and anger (Sharpsteen & Kirkpatrick, 1997 ...
Jealous people usually are insecure and have low self-esteem. Their insecurity can manifest in many different ways. Jealousy is very unhealthy and can affect the person who harbors jealousy as well as the person whom someone envies. It can scar him or her psychologically.
Summary: Jealousy increases activity in the cingulate cortex and lateral septum, areas of the brain associated with social pain and pair bonding, researchers report.
Jealousy is said to be one of two types: reactive jealousy, which occurs at the awareness of an actual threat to the relationship, or suspicious jealousy, which can occur without any indications that the relationship is being threatened (Bringle & Buunk, 1991).