Attachment trauma is a disruption in the important process of bonding between a baby or child and his or her primary caregiver. That trauma may be overt abuse or neglect, or it may be less obvious—lack of affection or response from the caregiver.
It can, for example, show up in avoiding relationships for fear of rejection, intense fears of intimacy, or being overly attached, such as ending up in codependent relationships. Along with relationship difficulties, signs you may be facing attachment trauma include: a tendency toward shame, guilt, and humiliation.
Attachment trauma may occur in the form of a basic interpersonal neglect (omission trauma) or in the form of physical, mental or sexual abuse (commission trauma). In many cases, both trauma types are combined. Attachment trauma often leads to a “disoriented- disorganized” attachment.
As a result of attachment trauma, you might carry beliefs that you are damaged, not lovable, or that you cannot trust anyone. You might have feelings of shame, unworthiness, or helplessness. Perhaps, you feel plagued by anxiety or believe that you don't belong in this world.
Bowlby identified four types of attachment styles: secure, anxious-ambivalent, disorganised and avoidant.
Attachment trauma may occur if there are traumatic experiences in the home while a baby is forming the bond, and it also may result from the absence of the primary caregiver, such as from divorce, serious illness, or death.
One way to determine whether you're in a healthy relationship or a trauma bond is to focus on how your relationship consistently makes you feel. A healthy relationship makes you feel supported, secure, and confident, while a trauma bond makes you feel fearful, anxious, or put down.
Characteristics of unhealthy attachments
using a relationship, object, or job to define your sense of worth. relying on others for approval. having a hard time imagining life without the other person or without an object.
The best thing you can do to support a partner with attachment disorder is to be there for them emotionally, even if you don't always understand what they're going through. Encourage them to express themselves freely, ask questions when you don't understand something they say, and validate their emotions.
In practice, trauma bonding looks like a compulsive cycle of wanting to please your partner to avoid setting them off, followed by an incident of physical, emotional, or verbal abuse, and then a honeymoon period where all seems well again.
Early attachment trauma is a distressing or harmful experience that affects a child's ability to form healthy interpersonal relationships. It includes abuse, abandonment, and neglect of an infant or child prior to age two or three. These traumas can have subtle yet long-lasting effects on a person's emotional health.
Of the four patterns of attachment (secure, avoidant, resistant and disorganized), disorganized attachment in infancy and early childhood is recognized as a powerful predictor for serious psychopathology and maladjustment in children (2,18–24).
Attachment trauma isn't rare, although it is widely unrecognized. Approximately 1 out of every 7 children in the U.S. suffers from abuse or neglect. Sadly, the overwhelming risk to children lies within the home.
And the fact is, a trauma bond will not transform into a healthy relationship, no matter how much the person being abused hopes so or tries to fix it. “It's often mistaken for love,” Wilform says. “But love doesn't consist of you having to be in a cycle of being mentally diminished or physically hurt.”
Breaking a trauma bond starts with identifying the 7 stages of trauma bonding, which encompasses gaslighting, love bombing, emotional addiction, criticism, loss of self, trust and dependency, and resigning to control. It is important to understand how these stages develop in a toxic and abusive relationship.
Trauma bonding occurs when a person experiencing abuse develops an unhealthy attachment to their abuser. They may rationalize or defend the abusive actions, feel a sense of loyalty, isolate from others, and hope that the abuser's behavior will change.
Risk factors. The risk of developing reactive attachment disorder from severe social and emotional neglect or the lack of opportunity to develop stable attachments may increase in children who, for example: Live in a children's home or other institution. Frequently change foster homes or caregivers.
The exact cause of attachment disorders is not known, but research suggests that inadequate care-giving is a possible cause. The physical, emotional and social problems associated with attachment disorders may persist as the child grows older.
The most difficult type of insecure attachment is the disorganized attachment style. It is often seen in people who have been physically, verbally, or sexually abused in their childhood.
The five levels addressed are: Authentic Self, Preference, Identity, Internalization, and Fanatacism.
Attachment disorders are nearly always a symptom of C-PTSD. C-PTSD oftentimes looks like this: attachment issues and relationship struggles, intimacy issues, flashbacks, mood swings, anxiety, depression, addiction issues, eating disorders, personality disorder traits.