People with avoidant personality disorder have chronic feelings of inadequacy and are highly sensitive to being negatively judged by others. Though they would like to interact with others, they tend to avoid social interaction due to the intense fear of being rejected by others.
What Is Avoidance Behavior? Avoidance behaviors are any behaviors people use to escape or distract themselves from difficult thoughts, feelings, and situations. This can look like avoiding new job opportunities, career advancements, relationships, social situations, recreational activities, and family get-togethers.
Ignoring or denying problems, procrastinating, canceling plans, or using substances are all examples of avoidance-focused coping skills.
They tend to be shy, awkward, and self-conscious in social situations due to a fear of doing something wrong or being embarrassed. They tend to exaggerate potential problems. They seldom try anything new or take chances. They have a poor self-image, seeing themselves as inadequate and inferior.
An avoidant person, with no one else to blame, may resort to narcissism (a falsely elevated sense of self), introversion (unaccountable to others), or perfectionism (rigidly accountable to self). The narcissist elevates self at the expense of others, believing self to be superior.
Avoidant thinking includes self-deprecating thoughts such as, “I'm not good enough”, “I'm unlikeable”, or, “I don't belong here.” Avoidant individuals often overestimate other people's tendencies to be critical and may believe such thoughts as “other people would reject me if they knew me better”.
They may use repression to manage unpleasant feelings. They tend not to seek support from their loved ones when they need it. Might sulk or complain instead of directly asking for support. Pre-emptive strategies such as breaking up with their partner, to cope with their feelings.
Because of this emotional distancing, they tend to be less empathic toward people in need (Joireman, Needham, & Cummings, 2001; Wayment, 2006). Further, avoidant people tend to respond negatively to their partner's emotions because those emotions can signal that they need more attention and intimacy.
Avoidant Personality Disorder Causes and Risk Factors
Having another mental health condition like depression or anxiety. A family history of depression, anxiety, or personality disorders. Childhood abuse, trauma, or neglect. Trauma including suffering an extreme incident of ridicule or rejection in childhood.
High levels of avoidance
They fear closeness to their partners and avoid them because of the possibility of rejection. They don't feel comfortable getting close to others. What is this? Avoidant adults worry about being hurt if they become too close to others.
Procrastination, passive-aggressiveness, and rumination are examples of unhelpful coping mechanisms that we may consciously or unconsciously use to avoid tackling a tough issue or facing thoughts and feelings that are uncomfortable. These behaviors are forms of avoidance coping.
late 14c., "action of emptying," from avoid + -ance. The sense of "action of dodging or shunning" is recorded from early 15c.; it also meant "action of making legally invalid" (1620s), and, of an office, etc., "becoming vacant" (mid-15c.).
Identifying Avoidant Behaviors in Your Partner
Not saying “I love you” or other expressions of love. Deflecting conversations about further commitment, such as monogamy, engagement, or marriage. Dismissing or mocking a partner's attempts to be closer, or to engage on a deeper level.
Because people with an avoidant attachment style fear not being lovable or good enough, feeling criticized or judged by loved ones can be particularly painful. Especially when it comes to things that they are not so comfortable with, such as their emotions and feelings.
Emotional Intelligence and Avoidant Attachment
People with the avoidant attachment style are more likely than secure attachers to have low levels of emotional intelligence. This is especially the case when it comes to other peoples' emotions.
They engage in nonverbal PDA. Because avoidants can easily get uncomfortable or overwhelmed by verbal expressions of love, they often show their feelings with their actions, meaning they may be more likely to kiss you than to tell you they love you directly.
Love Avoidants recognize and are attracted to the Love Addict's strong fear of being left because Love Avoidants know that all they have to do to trigger their partner's fear is threaten to leave.
The short answer — is yes, they can. Avoidant individuals want and need love just like everyone else. They want to feel close to people and receive love from them. Avoidants can have happy and rewarding relationships, but research shows a direct connection between high levels of happiness and secure attachment.
According to adult attachment experts Phil Shaver and Mario Mikulincer, avoidant partners often react angrily to perceived slights or other threats to their self-esteem, for example, whenever the other person fails to support or affirm their inflated self-image.
For this reason, and the fact that they find emotional closeness difficult, avoidant adults may be more likely to have a lot of friends rather than a few close ones. Avoidant attachers are often the life and soul of the party due to their elevated confidence and high self-esteem.
Personality disorders that are susceptible to worsening with age include paranoid, schizoid, schizotypal, obsessive compulsive, borderline, histrionic, narcissistic, avoidant, and dependent, said Dr.