Unhealthy attachments tend to form when an individual experiences inconsistent, neglectful, or abusive care during infancy and early childhood. For example, a child whose parents provide inconsistent emotional support may develop an anxious attachment style.
Securely attached Infants feel confident in their primary attachment figure to be attuned to their needs. On the other hand, insecurely attached infants may exhibit behaviors such as crying and searching in response to being separated from their attachment figure.
Reactive attachment disorder (RAD).
A child with RAD rarely seeks comfort when distressed and often feels unsafe and alone. They may be extremely withdrawn, emotionally detached, and resistant to comforting. They may push you away, ignore you, or even act out aggressively when you try to get close.
Insecure ambivalent attachment to a caregiver may cause a child to have a hard time exploring new places, seeming more worried about where their parent is. However, when their parent returns, that child still may not appear to be comforted enough to explore. Their parent's presence doesn't seem to soothe them entirely.
Insecure Attachments
Infants who experience negative or unpredictable responses from a caregiver may develop an insecure attachment style. They may see adults as unreliable and they may not trust them easily. Children with insecure attachments may avoid people, exaggerate distress, and show anger, fear, and anxiety.
Most children with attachment disorders have had severe problems or difficulties in their early relationships. They may have been physically or emotionally abused or neglected. Some have experienced inadequate care in an institutional setting or other out-of-home placement.
Symptoms of reactive attachment disorder are unique to each child. Common symptoms among infants and young children with RAD include: Not showing positive emotions, like comfort, love or joy when interacting with others. Avoiding eye contact and physical touch.
Experiencing Significant Jealousy or Distrust
Lukin, significant jealousy is one of the key signs of an unhealthy emotional attachment such as, “when a person spends a lot of time thinking and worrying about what their partner is doing,” he states “that typically suggests an unhealthy connection.”
Unhealthy attachments tend to form when an individual experiences inconsistent, neglectful, or abusive care during infancy and early childhood. For example, a child whose parents provide inconsistent emotional support may develop an anxious attachment style.
People with a secure attachment style maintain a healthy proximity to other people. They are not afraid of closeness and intimacy, and they do not depend on it in a pathological way. People with an insecure attachment style, on the other hand, avoid closeness with others or their whole existence depends on it.
Dismissive/Avoidant - Avoidant attachment is typically exhibited by a rejection of intimacy and independence, however, their independence is more to avoid dependence on others rather than feeling secure. This is often considered an unhealthy attachment style.
A disorganized attachment style can cause a lot of distress and confusion when it comes to social interactions and intimacy. It can harm your relationships and lead you to lose someone you really want in your life. Being around or with someone with this attachment style is also challenging.
Attachment trauma may cause a greater susceptibility to stress, difficulty regulating emotions, dependency, impulsive behaviors, social isolation, trouble sleeping, difficulty with attention, and mental illnesses.
Infants with insecure/avoidant attachment fail to greet and/or approach, appear oblivious to their caregiver's return and remain focused on toys, essentially avoiding the caregiver, which occurs in 23% of the general population (9).
Starting therapy
Working with a therapist can provide you with actionable strategies for changing your attachment style and forming more secure relationships. A mental health professional can also help you understand the root of your tendency to form unhealthy attachments, and how that's affected your life as an adult.
To recap, the following patterns of the caregiver tend to create insecure attachment: Inconsistent and unpredictable in how they respond to their child's needs. More aware of their own needs than those of their children's because they likely didn't receive the affection that they needed as a child.
A secure child shows signs of distress when separated from their caregivers, and signs of happiness when they return to the Strange Situation. They feel free to explore their surroundings and return to their caregivers for comfort or assistance because they are the base of security.