Medically reviewed by Timothy J. Legg, PhD, PsyD — By Danielle Dresden — Updated on March 13, 2023. Emotional detachment is when a person is unable to engage fully with their own or other people's feelings. It can occur as part of an
Symptoms Of Emotional Detachment
Lack of emotions, also known as “flattened affect” Unresponsiveness emotional experiences or situations that provoke emotional responses in others. A feeling of being emotionally disconnected from other people, places, or objects in one's environment. Reduced interest in sex.
Finding the line of healthy detachment means letting go emotionally of that person or what they are doing that troubles your peace of mind without avoiding them. It's taking a step back from the situation, trying to find a solution for the bigger problem instead of proving you are right.
In other words, unhealthy avoidance means that no one is communicating their true feelings about a given situation. On the other hand, healthy detachment is defined as letting go of a situation or a person without avoiding or ignoring them.
Unhealthy emotional attachment occurs when you solely rely on a relationship to define your worth, value, and lovability. If you find yourself more depressed and self-critical after ending a relationship, then you may have attributed your self-esteem to being connected with that person.
Detached love doesn't mean you don't want to be deeply connected and connected for a long time; it means that while you're connected you choose to allow the beloved to fully be themselves without expectations about the outcome of your relationship.
Non-attachment is essentially is a practice of mindfulness and presence in the existing moment. Detachment, on the other hand, means a complete lack of interest in the world around you. Detaching yourself means to distance yourself from the rest of the world, usually in an attempt to avoid disturbing feelings.
Emotional detachment is a psychological condition in which a person is not able to fully engage with their feelings or the feelings of others. It can be ongoing, as it is in people with attachment disorders, or it can be a temporary response to an extreme situation.
Emotional detachment can have many different causes. These can include past experiences and psychological conditions, but it can also be purposeful behavior that can be used as a way to cope or set boundaries in overwhelming situations.
Post Traumatic stress disorder
People who witness a violent crime, traumatic events, and/or war-like conditions tend to develop post traumatic stress disorder.. People suffering from post traumatic stress disorder grow emotionally detached overtime and can lead to a change in the overall perception of one's emotions.
Emotional detachment is a maladaptive coping mechanism for trauma, especially in young children who have not developed coping mechanisms. Emotional detachments can also be due to psychological trauma in adulthood, like abuse, or traumatic experiences like war, automobile accidents etc.
People with major depressive disorder or PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) may detach from emotions. People with the following conditions have a higher chance of experiencing emotional detachment. Certain medications can cause this condition.
Feelings of Detachment After Trauma May Signal Worse Mental Health Outcomes. Many people experience dissociation, or a lack of connection between their thoughts, memory, and sense of identity, during or after a traumatic experience.
Those who return home from a war zone or have experienced other kinds of trauma sometimes feel disconnected or detached from others. One of the symptoms of PTSD is difficulty feeling or expressing positive feelings.
While many people prefer to use both terms interchangeably, they are actually very different due to one major element: emotional detachment is a cognizant choice, while emotional unavailability is an uncontrollable development.
Focus on your own feelings
Both Neblett and Gatling agree that if you address someone's emotional unavailability, express how it's affecting you and lead with "I" statements. It's also important to have clear examples of why you think they're emotionally unavailable so that they don't feel ambushed, Neblett emphasizes.
You withhold personal feelings and thoughts
If you've found yourself unable or unwilling to share your feelings, you're likely emotionally unavailable. Walfish says this includes things like life goals, life regrets, wishes, hopes, and longings.
In plain language: Men often feel most loved by the women in their lives when their partners hug them, kiss them, smile at them, and explicitly offer gratitude, praise, and words of affection. Men also feel loved and connected through sexuality, often to a greater degree than women do.
They may have been physically or emotionally abused or neglected. Some have experienced inadequate care in an institutional setting or other out-of-home placement.
Love evokes fond feelings and actions toward the other person, particularly. Attachment is driven by how you feel about yourself with the degree of permanence and safety someone gives you, based on your past relationships. In other words, with love, your person is “the one” you have feelings for.
He suggests his affection through his demeanor
He tends to lean toward you when he is emotionally attached to you. It means that he confides in you whenever he has any trouble and needs to vent. Usually, men open up about what they are going through only to someone they feel attached to.
When you love someone, you want to be the best version of yourself for the other person. But with attachment, you may not care what the other person thinks. So, you never try to look at your faults or bad behaviour, and you never try to grow as a person.