The term gaslighting, as currently used, corresponds to conscious or intentional crazy-making / slave-making whereas there is no term for unconscious or unintentional crazy-making / slave-making.
Even though it might feel similar at the moment, unintentional (aka unconscious) gaslighting is not done intentionally or with the same ill intent as overt gaslighting. While some people are more likely to engage in this behavior, anyone can become an unintentional gaslighter.
A person can gaslight you without realizing it. The motivation behind gaslighting (and other forms of manipulation) is to have control and to avoid taking responsibility and getting into trouble. This drive can happen on an unconscious level and the person may not realize why or what they are doing.
If people make statements in the context of an argument in which they are trying to explain their point of view, or if these statements are made over the course of legal proceedings or formal hearings, then they may be viewed as someone defending themselves, not intentionally attempting to gaslight.
Unconscious gaslighting
“Shadow gaslighting” is when these disowned parts of ourselves manipulate people in our lives in order to serve their own purpose. An unconscious part of self expresses itself and pursues its own agenda but goes unacknowledged in our awareness.
There are four primary types of gaslighting behaviors: the straight-up lie, reality manipulation, scapegoating and coercion.
It could be divided into four different types: outright lying, manipulation of reality, scapegoating and coercion. Often the experience is a combination of these four types and not just limited to one of them.
Invalidating means telling someone they shouldn't feel a certain way. Gaslighting, on the other hand, makes someone believe that they do not actually feel that way. A combination of the two could have long term effects such as self-doubt, paranoia and anxiety among other traits that display a lack of confidence.
Take “gaslighting”—which recently became so popular that it clinched the mantle of Merriam-Webster's 2022 Word of the Year. Other terms that have crept from the therapist's couch into the public lexicon include love-bombing, triggered, grooming, and toxic.
False accusations can also be seen as a form of gaslighting, which falls under the category of psychological abuse. Gaslighting is when false information or false allegations are presented to an individual with the intent of making them question their own memory and even perception in some cases.
In addition, perpetrators of gaslighting typically suffer from mental health issues as well. They may have developed these controlling behaviors as a response to childhood trauma, or as the result of Narcissistic Personality Disorder or another psychological condition.
The gaslighter enjoys emotionally, physically, and financially controlling their victims. The relationship may start well the manipulative person may praise his or her victim and establishes trust quickly by confiding in their victim immediately.
Despite all this, gaslighting often isn't so obvious. Many gaslighters may not realize they're gaslighting, and many people who are being gaslighted also fail to recognize it at first.
Research published in The Journal of Sexual Aggression suggests that gaslighters share some common personality traits such as being emotionally unavailable, withdrawn, irresponsible, impulsive, distractable, and lacking in common sense and self-awareness.
It's a technique often used by those with narcissistic and/or borderline personality disorders to deflect any responsibility from themselves. The victim of gaslighting often asks “what did I do?” and finds themselves eventually questioning and second guessing everything they do.
Someone who breadcrumbs wants to flirt and spend time with someone else, but struggles with commitment. They don't necessarily know how to do the work required to maintain a healthy relationship. Gaslighting is an intentional attempt to distort someone's perception of an event or situation.
Gaslighting can be described as the ultimate form of betrayal, as it is a serious form of manipulation that causes victims to question their reality.
An invalidated person may have experienced gaslighting, which is when one partner (or another person) makes them feel like their emotions are ridiculous and invalid.
Stonewalling and gaslighting are both forms of emotional manipulation. The person who stonewalls will try to make it seem like you are overly emotional. The person who is gaslighting tries to make you think you are losing touch with reality.
Whereas manipulation targets the conscience, gaslighting targets consciousness. The term comes from the Alfred Hitchcock movie “Gaslight” (1944) about a husband with a secret who slowly drives his wife insane. Gaslighters claim to know a person better than they know themselves.
If we stick to the clinical definition, gaslighters have two signature moves: They lie with the intent of creating a false reality, and they cut off their victims socially.
Gaslighters use a manipulation technique called brightsiding, which means that they invalidate your experiences or feelings. For example, they may say, “Look on the bright side, things can always be worse.”