If your family has sent flowers to the decedent, giving a white envelope of money is not necessary. In Cantonese, the white envelope is known as, “baak gum” or “white gold.” Today, Chinese Americans often include the money inside a sympathy card so it can be acknowledged.
Condolence Money (Bai Jin) at Buddhist Funerals
Monetary gifts also known as 'pek kim' or 'bai jin', is a common tradition in not only Buddhist funerals but also in most chinese funerals. Usually, the money is kept inside a white envelope.
White is the colour reserved for death in Chinese culture. In Hokkien, money in white envelope is called 'pek kim' (white gold), and in Cantonese it is called 'pak kum'. The amount of money put in the envelope varies depending on the relationship to the deceased but must be in odd numbers.
It is acceptable to leave the envelope blank, or to write from whom and for whom the money is on the outside. The amount given depends on the income level of the family and their guests. The amount is expected to increase depending on how close the guest is to the deceased or to the family.
Monetary gift
The 'white gold' is preferably in odd numbers such as $30 or $50 and is placed in a white envelope which will be given to the bereaved loved ones at the funeral reception. Avoid red envelope as it is a colour associated with happiness and is not appropriate for a funeral wake.
There is no hard and fast rule for how much money you should put into a sympathy card. It is important to consider how much you can afford and the need of the family. You don't want to put financial constraints on your family because of giving.
White gold is usually an alloy containing about 75% gold and about 25% nickel and zinc. If stamped 18 karat, it would be 75% pure gold.
If you see a karat marking like K or k, usually accompanied by a number, the item is made of white gold.
ADVANTAGES OF WHITE GOLD
White gold is much more malleable than platinum, so it's easier to work into fine, intricate designs. It's also (slightly) less expensive than platinum and is ideal for those who want the look of platinum with the heritage and tradition associated with gold.
Giving monetary benefits or donations at funerals is not a strange thing in Singapore. It is a tradition that has been practiced for a long time. The Chinese call such contributions 'pek kim' or 'bai jin', which translates to 'white gold'.
There are no strict rules on this, give within your means – we're sure the bereaved family will be grateful for your kind gesture, regardless of the amount given. It's advisable to give cash donations in odd number amounts, such as $30, $50, $70, $90, or $100.
Guests at a Chinese funeral wear somber colors like black. Bright and colorful clothing, especially red, must be avoided as these colors are associated with happiness. White is acceptable and, if the deceased was 80 or above, white with pink or red is acceptable as the event is cause for celebration.
Chinese funeral guests can be expected to give the grieving family money, 奠儀 (diàn yí), at the funeral or one day prior. The traditional gift is an odd dollar amount, starting at $101, in a white envelope. It may be handed to a family member or put into a donation box.
It is also taboo to wear bright colours such as red or yellow during the mourning period. Immediate family members wear a coarse burlap overcoat, hat and slippers to show that the mourners' care for appearances and personal comfort have given way to grief.
GIA's color-grading scale for diamonds is the industry standard. The scale begins with the letter D, representing colorless, and continues with increasing presence of color to the letter Z, or light yellow or brown.
While at first glance silver and white gold may appear to have a similar hue, silver has a grayish-white hue, whereas white gold has a distinctly white shade. Both metals are hypoallergenic on their own, but other metal alloys can instigate allergic reactions for people with sensitive skin.
White gold was invented in the 19th century by alloying gold with palladium. It became commercially available as of 1912 in Pforzheim, Germany and gained popularity in the mid-1920's as a low-cost substitute for platinum. It is an alloy of gold with copper, zinc, and nickel.
White gold is mixed mainly with white metals like nickel, while yellow gold is mixed with yellow metals like copper. White gold has a yellowish white look and yellow gold has a luminous yellow tone.
Yellow gold has more percentage of copper as opposed to white gold, which gives it a shining yellow hue. White gold is primarily composed of copper, silver, nickel, palladium, and zinc, with higher amounts of nickel and zinc that impart the metal its lustrous silver color.
Money is not an appropriate gift, although exceptions may be made when the family is left in extreme financial difficulty. In that case, friends may wish to pool contributions to make a gift of assistance.
Who should receive sympathy thank you notes? You don't need to send a formal thank you note to everyone who attended the funeral/visitation or sent you a sympathy card. Instead, a thank you note or acknowledgement should be sent to anyone who has done something extra, including: People who sent or brought flowers.
Depending on the traditions and customs observed by the individual the most traditional items include sympathy flowers, baked goods and desserts, fruit, dried fruit, & nuts, and assorted chocolates.