Overinvolved and neglectful parents both play a key role in child's self-esteem. Harsh and strict parenting conditions a child to believe that they are not good enough. Whenever a child attempts to do something, if the response is critical and undermining, the child bases that they are not capable.
If your parent(s) neglected your feelings, your sense of self-perception is likely skewed. That skewed sense of self can translate to low self-esteem over time. Unpacking how emotional neglect can cause low self-esteem is the first step on the journey to a better relationship with yourself.
When parents are over-involved, their excessive control over how their children define themselves in the world provides few opportunities for the child to self-reflect and have his or her own positive thoughts and feelings. In both cases, the development of self-confidence and self-esteem are compromised.
A child's self-esteem is guided by their parents. When parents foster positive, healthy, and nurturing relationships with their children, they feel good about themselves. Unfortunately, some children can also develop poor self-esteem at an early age when parents do not feel good about themselves.
Research shows that most people think strict parenting produces better-behaved kids. However, research studies on discipline consistently show that strict, or authoritarian, child-raising actually produces kids with lower self esteem who behave worse than other kids -- and therefore get punished more!
Children of authoritative parents enjoy a sense of security about themselves and the world in general. They are more likely to be able to trust others, as well as themselves. They experience the world as a place that makes sense, and others as generally fair and reasonable.
Most children will have dips in self-esteem as they go through different stages or challenges in life, and there are different pressures that may affect them - including social media, bullying, exams, family problems and abuse.
Their self-esteem grows when parents pay attention, let a child try, give smiles, and show they're proud. As kids grow, self-esteem can grow too. Any time kids try things, do things, and learn things can be a chance for self-esteem to grow.
A child's self-esteem begins to be formed very early, and continues being created day by day. Self-esteem comes from learning to accept who we are by seeing the insufficiencies and still choosing to like ourselves. Every child's self-esteem grows with each experience of successful interactions through positive words.
Self-esteem can be affected by many factors, such as school, friends, and internal factors; however, the family's role in shaping self-esteem seems to be fundamental. The family is one of the most important elements that play a role in shaping human character. Humans, from birth until death, grow in the family.
They set out to present the most comprehensive look yet at how self-esteem changes with age, examining a number of different demographics and age groups. Self-esteem first begins to rise between ages 4 and 11, as children develop socially and cognitively and gain some sense of independence.
Characteristics of low self-esteem
Downplays or ignores their positive qualities. Judges themselves to be inferior to their peers. Uses negative words to describe themselves such as stupid, fat, ugly or unlovable.
Constant yelling and rejection can be highly damaging to self-esteem in children. In some cases, this type of maltreatment may have more detrimental long-term effects on a child's self-worth than physical abuse, as it poses a direct threat to the child's developing sense of self and emotional well-being.
Experiences in a person's life are a major source of how self-esteem develops. In the early years of a child's life, parents have a significant influence on self-esteem and can be considered the main source of positive and negative experiences a child will have.
Michele Borba identifies five building blocks of self-esteem: security; selfhood; affiliation; mission and competence.
Sometimes an infant or young child fails to bond with his or her caregiver creating an attachment disorder. On the flip side, over-protective parents may inhibit a child's natural curiosity to discover and experience things on their own, thereby lowering their self-confidence and creating insecurity.
A child or teen with low self-esteem may:
Cheat or lie when they think they're going to lose a game or do poorly. Show signs of regression, acting babylike or very silly. These types of behavior invite teasing and name-calling from other kids, worsening the problem.
Talk about themselves in a very negative way “I'm stupid”, “I'm ugly” Constantly compare themselves to others in a negative way. Become overly concerned about other people's opinion of them.
If you have low self-esteem you may have difficulty with relationships and problems at work or school. You may become very upset by criticism or disapproval and withdraw from activities and people. You may avoid doing anything where you may be judged or measured against other people.
Things come a bit easier and spoiled kids are used to getting their way, so they often have a tougher time with life's downsides and give up quicker. ~ Reduces satisfaction and appreciation. Getting “too much” can make a child perpetually unappreciative and become a chronically dissatisfied adult. Curbs self-esteem.
Authoritarian Parenting (Disciplinarian)
These strict parents demand blind obedience from their children without explanation. They use reasons such as “because I said so.” The authoritarian parenting style is also known as the disciplinarian parenting style.
Authoritarian parenting is an extremely strict parenting style. It places high expectations on children with little responsiveness. As an authoritarian parent, you focus more on obedience, discipline, control rather than nurturing your child.
This rigid parenting style uses stern discipline, often justified as “tough love.” In attempt to be in full control, authoritarian parents often talk to their children without wanting input or feedback.