Narcissists are attracted to dynamic and appealing partners, individuals who appear as if they have high self-esteem but who also have a "pocket" or two of low self-esteem.
One of the most common misconceptions is that narcissists only look for emotionally dependent partners who lack confidence and self-esteem. In fact, narcissists are often attracted to strong, confident, and self-assured women.
Someone who will make the narcissist feel good about themselves, through compliments or gestures. Anyone who will reflect well on them in the eyes of other people. Someone who validates their feelings, overlooks their flaws, and who isn't likely to leave them during the narcissistic abuse.
Narcissists often look for victims who struggle with insecurity and low self-esteem. People who think less of themselves and struggle with the “I am not enough” mindset tend to attract toxic partners.
First, who does a narcissist marry? A narcissist marries someone who would be a good source of long-term narcissistic supply for them. They find a potential partner in someone weaker, less intelligent, or underconfident.
Narcissists can be very charming and persuasive. They're typically masters at flirting, romanticizing, impressing, and convincing. It's easy to fall under their influence and do what they want, for it might feel good to do so, at least initially.
Here are some narcissism red flags to look out for: Lacking empathy. They seem unable or unwilling to have empathy for others, and they appear to have no desire for emotional intimacy. Unrealistic sense of entitlement.
In this case, you might expect examples of narcissist text messages such as “I'm in the hospital, but I'm ok now,” “I can't feel my arm, but I don't think I should worry, should I?”, “I've had some bad news, but there's nothing you can do about it.”
When you don't depend on anyone to make money and you use your abundance to take care of yourself and not predators, you will always have the ability to control your own future. This is power, and pathologically envious narcissists are often turned off by it because it means they cannot easily control a victim.
They get jealous about everything
They talk a good game, but narcissists actually have very low self-esteem. Low self-worth/confidence/esteem is at the core of a narcissism. This low sense of self naturally makes it extremely easy for them to become jealous – very jealous.
If a narcissist is interested in you, you might notice that they shower you with admiration and attention shortly after you meet them. They might be quick to say “I love you,” put you on a pedestal, and make grand romantic gestures.
In fact, compulsive lying is associated with narcissistic and antisocial personality disorders – likely connected to the lack of empathy and propensity for exploitative behavior inherent in these disorders (Ford, King & Hollender, 1988; Baskin-Sommers, Krusemark, & Ronningstam, 2014).
"You're a bad person." "Nobody else will ever love you." "I'm the best you'll ever have." "Have fun being alone for the rest of your life."
"No" in its various contexts - including "no, you can't do this" or "no, you're wrong - is one of the worst things a narcissistic person can hear. Because, as Susan points out, "as hard as it is for people high in narcissism to accept criticism, it's even more difficult for them to take 'no' for an answer".
Does ignoring a narcissist work? First of all, narcissists hate being ignored, so ignoring them may be the best form of revenge. But, it should not be your primary motivation. The most essential thing here is to be mature enough to let go of toxic individuals in your life, no matter how difficult it is.
Narcissists can feel emotional pain, but not usually in the same way as others. The emotional pain they may feel is usually related to underlying selfish needs. Underneath the displays of superiority and sense of entitlement, they often feel empty, powerless, and shameful, which they perceive as weakness.