Children in this age group may continue to steal because of several factors, including the following: They may feel peer pressure and the need to fit in. They may have low self-esteem. They may not have any friends and may be trying to "buy" their friends.
It's common for children with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) to steal from family members and friends. Knowing ADHD is probably behind a child's stealing behavior doesn't make it less frustrating, of course, nor less scary.
Your child may have stolen something to impress their friends and feel like they fit in amongst their peers. They might have stolen as they want to buy something they are not allowed to have normally. They may have stolen for attention as sometimes even negative attention can seem better than none at all.
Kleptomania, also known as compulsive stealing, is basically an urge or desire to steal. Usually items stolen are less valuable, but if not stopped it might become a habit as kids grow up.
Overview. Kleptomania (klep-toe-MAY-nee-uh) is a mental health disorder that involves repeatedly being unable to resist urges to steal items that you generally don't really need. Often the items stolen have little value and you could afford to buy them. Kleptomania is rare but can be a serious condition.
ADHD. A third underlying issue that can cause children to lie and steal is attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Children with ADHD may lie or steal impulsively without thinking about the consequences. They may have difficulty focusing and paying attention and struggle to control their behaviour.
They simply don't think about the consequences of their actions and the feelings of others. Theft at school age often involves lying. When caught stealing, this age group will lean on lying, even when caught red-handed. Through lying, children seek to avoid fair punishment for their wrongdoing.
Learned Behavior
Children may have been taught to steal either directly or by the example of parents or other significant adults. They may continue this behavior because they think it pleases those for whom they are stealing or because they do not know any other way of meeting their own needs.
Lack of consistency. Toxic communication — such as contempt, criticism, and sarcasm. Controlling behavior and distrust. Abusive — this is also inclusive of emotionally abusive behaviors, such as gaslighting, love bombing, breadcrumbing etc.
Core symptoms of ADHD are difficulty concentrating, hyperactivity, and acting impulsively (such as doing things without thinking through the consequences). Some children may present with difficulties with one or more of these core symptoms.
It is not likely to change behavior or develop the behaviors you want. That does not mean ignoring lying or letting it go. Rather, use very mild punishment (light reprimand, brief loss of privilege, a brief period in time-out).
Around age seven or eight, children not only are capable of deliberately deceiving someone, they also can manage to stick to a false story and to look and sound sincere while doing so. Kids this age tend to lie because they don't want to get in trouble and because they don't want to think of themselves as “bad.”
Kids with ADHD often have behavior problems. They get angry quickly, throw tantrums, and refuse to do things they don't want to do. These kids aren't trying to be bad. The problem is that ADHD can make it hard for them to do things they find difficult or boring.
Kids with ADHD often experience hyperfocus on things that really interest them, even when they have a hard time paying attention to things that don't interest them.
Further punishment, particularly physical punishment, is not necessary and could make a child or teen angry and more likely to engage in even worse behavior. Kids of all ages need to know that shoplifting isn't just about taking things from a store — it's taking money from the people who run the businesses.
A child's true understanding of the concept of stealing usually occurs between the ages of five and seven. By this time, children can understand the idea of ownership and realize that taking things that belong to others is wrong.
After facing neglect or trauma, a child may steal to gain a sense of control over their surroundings. After having experienced a lack of control in their early years, children may seek control to feel safe. Stealing can also be a survival mechanism.
The habitual thief may appear to suffer from a compulsion (“kleptomania”). He may be seen as resorting to stealing as a way to “feel better” while coping with depression or adverse circumstances over which he has no control. Perhaps a person steals to boost his self-esteem.
Shoplifting and Depression
Shoplifting is oftentimes due to depression. Many scholarly studies have linked depression and other mental issues and shoplifting.