The best eulogies are respectful and solemn, but they also give mourners some comic relief. A bit of roasting is fine if it suits who the person was and the family has a sense of humor. Close your eulogy by directly addressing the person who died, something like “Joe, thank you for teaching me how to be a good father.”
Eulogies can take many forms. Some people who deliver a eulogy choose to open with a poem, a religious reading, or a personal anecdote, while others might choose to use these elements as a closing thought. Regardless of which approach you choose, a reliable structure involves three parts: a beginning, middle, and end.
A eulogy should be a shared experience reflecting on the life of your loved one or family member. Talk to the people who knew your loved one best to build a well-rounded picture of their life. Gather basic facts as well as stories and anecdotes that represent who they were and how they lived.
The most important part is to focus on how and why they were important to you; eulogies don't need to be polished and perfect. It can be helpful to step away from a first draft and revisit with a fresh pair of eyes. Share your first draft with friends or family members for their input.
Step One- Share stories and memories
Set aside a couple of hours to share stories and talk about the deceased with family and friends. Write down stories and memorable sayings as you go along. Learning these stories will help bring to mind your memories of the deceased, and go a long way towards preparing your eulogy.
A eulogy can include anecdotes, accomplishments, favorite quotes — any details that help paint a picture of the personality of the deceased. The eulogy you write might include: A brief recounting of their life story.
There is no hard and fast rule as to who should give the eulogy speech at a funeral. It's typically given by those who were particularly close, or had a special relationship with, the loved one who passed. It could be a best friend, a spouse, a child or grandchild, or even a co-worker.
Include an appropriate closing.
The best eulogies end with words of comfort and a final goodbye. You might start this section by talking about the lessons the departed taught you and how they impacted your life. Close the eulogy by saying goodbye to your loved one in a heartfelt, meaningful way.
We find that most eulogies are between five and ten minutes in duration. If you are sharing the eulogy with others aim for around three minutes each. Adjust the content of your remembrance speech to ensure it is not too brief, or too lengthy.
Be brief. While there's no need to rush or cut short your remarks, focusing your comments on a particular theme or aspect of the person will help provide structure. The average eulogy is three to five minutes. It's not uncommon to have multiple eulogists, so be concise in your remarks.
Plan to Keep Your Eulogy Brief
You want to say more than just a few words about your loved one. At the same time, you don't want to deliver a eulogy that runs on too long and loses people's interest. Your best bet is to keep it to somewhere in the 5 to 10 minute range.
A good eulogy is usually between 3-5 minutes long, but can be as long as 10 minutes. This should be more than enough time to include everything you want to say about your loved one, but not so long that you risk losing people's attention.
Remember to introduce yourself in your speech and who you are in relation to the loved one who has passed. This will help give the audience context and better understand the memories that you are sharing.
A eulogy is most often written by an immediate family member or loved one of the deceased individual. This person should have spent a lot of time with the deceased and know them better than anybody else. Anybody can be a eulogizer from parents, to friends, to children.
The speech is ideally given by someone who knew the person well enough to gather and share memories and highlights of his/her life. Sometimes the choice is obvious within the family. There is often one person who seems to be the unofficial family spokesperson.
Presenting the Eulogy
Yes, you should read it over several times aloud, but you're going to be reading it. The practice of reading the eulogy aloud is so that you don't stumble on the words and so that you place pauses and emphasis where they belong. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO REHEARSE IT FOR HOURS.
Unless they have chosen to be seated beforehand, the family comes next, chief mourner(s) first, walking with whomever he or she chooses. Close friends may follow, completing the procession. The family and pallbearers occupy the front rows, with friends filling vacant places on either side.