As we've just found out, INFJs are highly sensitive. If they're reacting to something, the last thing you want to do is make them feel like they're being irrational by dismissing their emotions. When INFJs are hurt or offended during moments of conflict they need time to heal and think through their next steps.
The last thing an INFJ would want is to have their feelings challenged and dismissed by someone else. By saying “You're too sensitive.”, you are downplaying the valid emotions of the INFJ, which could end up with them avoiding you and turning to someone else for their emotional needs.
Emotionally manipulative movies and TV shows also get on their nerves. While INFJs love to listen to people's problems and help them sort out their emotions, they prize authenticity and honesty. They can't stand passive-aggression, phoniness, or people who are always trying to find ways to add more drama to life.
INFJs are easily rattled, anxious and stressed when they have too much to do in a short space of time, when they aren't given time to reflect on problems or when someone is watching them.
Unsurprisingly, they can get stressed out by uncertainty and a lack of organization, and they're the most likely personality type to say they feel really anxious in unpredictable situations. This feeling is especially common among Turbulent Advocates, given their sensitivity to stress.
Once the relationship begins to feel one-sided, it takes a big toll on the sensitive INFJ, and they'll start to pull back. The process is a slow one, but once they've realized the relationship isn't adding anything positive to their life, they'll decide to distance themselves.
As sensitive personalities, INFJs feel attracted to people who show kindness towards others. Extraverted Feeling is their auxiliary function, which means INFJs try to connect in a gentle way, and appreciate those who can do the same. Most INFJs also strive to make a positive impact on the world.
Advocate (INFJ) Weaknesses. Sensitive to Criticism – Advocates aren't averse to feedback – that is, unless they believe that someone is challenging their most cherished principles or values. When it comes to the issues that are near and dear to them, people with this personality type can become defensive or dismissive.
INFJs are no exception to this rule, and when they become overly stressed they may display a dark side that includes angry outbursts, obsessive worrying, perfectionism, or even depression. When INFJs first encounter stress, they start to behave very true-to-type.
INFJs also feel embarrassed when they cry in front of others or react emotionally to criticism. They also experience “second-hand embarrassment”. This occurs when they empathize too strongly with someone who has done something awkward or is embarrassing themselves.
If you're an INFJ, you suppress your anger. “The Counselor” type will avoid addressing their feelings of frustration because they hate conflict, and the idea of confronting someone might break them out in hives.
Because of our passionate need for meaningful connection, we INFJs can get jealous easily when we see other people connecting and having fun. We might compare ourselves to them, or worse yet, when someone close to us has friends of their own, we might pull away, feeling unwanted and pathetic.
As highly connected and empathetic individuals, they crave time with others. For obvious reasons, this leads to a lot of misunderstandings between INFJs and the people who love them. It's important for loved ones to respect an INFJ's need for alone time, especially after long social interactions.
They feel it as a personal slight. There's another reason why INFJs struggle with rejection, and that's because they are perfectionists. They put their heart and soul into the work they provide. This makes even the slightest rejection -- something like a simple correction -- brutal to take.
Despite the fact that INFJs are complex individuals who are highly empathic and intuitive, they do commonly struggle with trust issues. These trust issues may be rooted in their private nature, their idealism, their empathy, or past experiences of hurt or betrayal.
Intuitive Weirdness
INFJs have an abstract, futuristic approach to the world around them. Rather than seeing things for what they are, they see things for what they “mean.” When forced to focus all their attention outside the intuitive plane, they can come across as stressed, unsteady, or overwhelmed.
Love And The INFJ Personality Type
They can often come across as intimidating or aloof, and it may sometimes feel difficult to relate to an INFJ. Many people will never see the loving side of INFJs because many INFJs reserve true displays of intimacy and affection for close friends and long-term, loving relationships.
Because INFJs are so naturally aware of harmony levels and emotional needs, they are irritated by people who seem tactless, rude, mean-spirited, troll-ish, or unnecessarily disruptive. In situations where someone is corrupting the emotional atmosphere for their own selfish gains, an INFJ can become severely angered.
INFJs can become very stubborn about their perceptions and visions, insisting that the future they see WILL happen. They can develop plans that they believe in with 100% dedication. If anyone contradicts their plans they can become oppositional or else withdraw and carry out their plan under-the-radar.
INFJs search for meaning and purpose in their lives and in the outer world. They tend to have an immense interest in deeply understanding culture, society, and the universe as a whole. INFJs naturally see how every thought or action could potentially have important consequences, either positive or negative.
Their introverted nature allows them to be excellent listeners. Careers for INFJs in counseling, therapy, or psychology are good choices to consider because of this natural trait. They tend towards introversion, so career paths involving writing and research can suit this personality type particularly well.
At their best, INFJs make modest, reliable teammates, and allow others to take the lead. INFJs may undervalue their own needs, ideas, and contributions, acting overly shy and not taking credit when due. At their worst, INFJs can be excessively submissive, ineffectual, and too dependent on direction from others.
When I surveyed INFJs about their flirting styles, more than anything, they expressed a deep desire to connect emotionally with someone they liked. They will be more emotionally open, express more of their deeper longings, and become more vulnerable with you if they like you.
I always feel awkward around them if they're not my friend. I will avoid them at all costs but at the same time wish I had actually talked to them. If we do get to talk, I'm going to be fighting a battle inside about what to say. I normally end up saying weird and random things I always regret.