What not to say during a funeral?

Here are seven things to avoid saying at a funeral or to someone grieving the loss of a loved one.
  • “They're an angel now.”
  • “I know how you feel.”
  • “They look so good.”
  • “Don't cry” or “Go ahead and cry.”
  • “At least it wasn't worse.”
  • “God is sovereign.”
  • “Let me know if I can help.”
  • What can you say instead?

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What is the most disrespectful thing to do at a funeral?

"Talking or being on your phone during the service is one of the most disrespectful things you could do at a funeral," says Myka Meier, Beaumont Etiquette founder and etiquette expert. It's important to be as present as possible. "Silence your phone, shut off your phone, or even just leave it behind.

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What not to say or do at a funeral?

The worst things to say at a funeral

Don't tell friends or family members who are grieving that their loved one has gone to a better place. Never call the death a blessing or speculate that it was that person's time. Avoid saying anything that suggests that the loss of the loved one is a positive thing.

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What to say at a funeral when you don't know what to say?

When attending a visitation, here are examples of what you can say to the family:
  • My condolences.
  • I'm really sorry you're going through this.
  • Your mom was a wonderful woman.
  • You loved him/her well.
  • I'm thinking of your family during this difficult time.

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What are the right words to say at a funeral?

Here are some examples of what to say at a funeral:
  • I'm sorry for your loss.
  • He will be missed by everyone that knew him.
  • She was a lovely woman and will be greatly missed.
  • You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
  • When you're ready, I'm here for you.

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What You Shouldn't Say/Do At A Funeral Home (8JTV)

38 related questions found

What is the most common thing said at a funeral?

Offering Condolences: What to Say at a Funeral
  • “I am so sorry for your loss”
  • “You and your loved one are in my thoughts and prayers”
  • “This is so sad to hear, I'm thinking of you and the family”
  • “If you want to talk at any time, I'm here”
  • “Shocked and saddened by this news if you need anything I'm here”

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What is the most comforting thing to say at a funeral?

“I'm so sorry about your loss. [The deceased] was a good person and they'll be very missed.” “Please accept my deepest condolences for your loss.” “[The deceased] was a wonderful person and I'll miss them very much.”

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How do I avoid crying at a funeral?

How to Avoid Crying at a Funeral
  1. BREATHE. Controlling breath is the first step to reducing anxiety during a panic attack, and it stands to reason that calming yourself will also be beneficial when feeling extreme sorrow. ...
  2. DISTRACT YOURSELF. ...
  3. GET PHYSICAL. ...
  4. BLINK. ...
  5. DRINK WATER.

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How do you send regrets to a funeral?

Send a note. Preferably a handwritten one, but a text might do just fine when the situation doesn't allow it. You want to convey your regrets about not making it to the event. You can enclose the message in a sympathy card.

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How do you talk to a funeral without crying?

How do you talk at a funeral without crying?
  1. Give Yourself Time to Practice.
  2. Find a Supportive Person Ahead.
  3. Eat Before Giving the Speech.
  4. Remember to Take Deep Breaths.
  5. Keep Your Eyes on the Prize.

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What is inappropriate at a funeral?

While you should generally steer clear of bright colours and loud prints (unless otherwise requested), other things to avoid include very revealing or overly casual clothes, like ripped jeans, sheer tops or pieces with inappropriate cut-out details. Accessory-wise, keep things minimal.

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Is it rude to not cry at a funeral?

Instead, we want to reassure those who aren't crying that it's okay. Crying isn't a required step in grieving a loss; it is not a measure of how much you love the person who died, and you can still grieve healthily even if the tears don't flow.

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Is it rude to smile at a funeral?

It's not only okay to smile at a funeral but it's also encouraged, especially when greeting the bereaved. Seeing someone smile at us can help lift our spirits. It's also a nonverbal way of showing support.

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When should you not go to a funeral?

5 reasons not to go to the funeral:

Your attendance at the service would be upsetting to any member of the immediate family. The services are private and not open to the public. The services are out of town and you cannot get there, or you cannot arrange for the time off work.

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Why do they cover mirrors when someone dies?

In parts of Germany and in Belgium, it was long customary to cover mirrors with a white cloth because it was thought that if a person saw his or her image in a mirror after a death in the household, that person would die shortly.

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What's the hardest part of a funeral?

Usually people say a short prayer by the casket and then proceed to share their condolences with the family. Attending a visitation can be the hardest part for people to attend, because it involves talking to the deceased's family.

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How do you show respect at a funeral?

It is customary to show your respects by viewing the deceased if the body is present and the casket is open. You may wish to say a silent prayer for, or meditate about, the deceased at this time. In some cases the family may escort you to the casket. The length of your visit at the wake is a matter of discretion.

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Is it rude not to go to a funeral?

Choosing whether to attend is at the discretion of each individual, family member. Whatever you choose, know that it isn't disrespectful to not go to a funeral for personal reasons.

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How do you tell someone you won't be able to make it to a funeral?

What to Text Someone When You Can't Attend a Funeral
  1. Thinking of you today! I'm sorry I can't be there with you. ...
  2. I'm sending a virtual hug to you. I know that today is going to be hard. ...
  3. Please know that I would be there with you today if circumstances were different.

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Who should speak at a funeral?

The speech is ideally given by someone who knew the person well enough to gather and share memories and highlights of his/her life. Sometimes the choice is obvious within the family. There is often one person who seems to be the unofficial family spokesperson.

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How do you relax at a funeral?

Be kind to yourself. Techniques such as mindfulness may help you regulate your breathing or feel more restful, while a hot bath or aromatherapy oils such as lavender or chamomile may be a soothing way to prepare for a funeral you're anxious about and part of your coping strategy.

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How do you talk at a funeral?

Tips for Delivering a Eulogy
  1. Write it Down Word for Word. It's perfectly acceptable to write down your eulogy speech word for word. ...
  2. Keep it Short and Sweet. Try to keep your speech between 5 to 7 minutes, 10 minutes at the most. ...
  3. Practice, Practice, Practice. ...
  4. Speak slowly and make eye contact. ...
  5. Remember to Breathe.

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How do you say goodbye at a funeral?

Here are other ways of saying goodbye if you're able to attend the funeral.
...
How to Say Goodbye to the Deceased If You Can Attend the Funeral
  1. Attend the viewing. One of the last opportunities you get to see your loved one may be at the viewing. ...
  2. Donate toward final expenses. ...
  3. Plan a memorial. ...
  4. Write a short eulogy. ...
  5. Sing a song.

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How do you show empathy at a funeral?

In general, to express empathy consider:
  1. Practicing listening without distractions.
  2. Listen more than talk.
  3. Maintain centered and open body language.
  4. Keep eye contact.
  5. Allow for spaces of silence as needed by the griever.
  6. Ask questions about the relationship, the griever's feelings and anxieties and ways in which you can help.

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What can you say at a funeral instead of flowers?

10 things to send instead of flowers
  • A charitable donation. Created with Sketch. ...
  • Vases. Created with Sketch. ...
  • A takeaway. Created with Sketch. ...
  • A care package. Created with Sketch. ...
  • A plant. Created with Sketch. ...
  • A cleaning service. Created with Sketch. ...
  • Photos of the person who died. Created with Sketch. ...
  • A grocery delivery.

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