Try not to lay blame on the person or use “you” statements (such as “you're being difficult” or “this is your fault”). This can make them feel defensive, which can fuel their anger. Instead, try to use “I” statements to show them how their anger affects you (such as “I want to help you” or “I feel scared”).
Avoid victimizing or feeling sorry for yourself. The goal is to gain her understanding, not her pity.
Keep an open posture. Stand straight with your arms at your sides. Don't cross your arms over your chest as this is commonly interpreted as a defensive stance.
If you do get this angry, in order to once again think clearly, you must take some time to calm down. This can take a person anywhere from 20 minutes to 24 hours.
What is the number one mistake when dealing with anger?
1. People stay in it too long. One of the big mistakes I see people making in my practice is this: Staying in a situation they know will illicit anger or staying in a situation when they are angry, well beyond the point where they can function appropriately.
Anger is often a reaction to and distraction from inner suffering—feelings such as sadness, powerlessness, shame, anxiety, inadequacy, and isolation. Anger can be both an outgrowth of, and meaningful distraction, from the intense pain of underlying depression.
Inappropriate anger doesn't have a sound basis and is often disproportionate to the underlying cause. People are also more likely to be violent and aggressive in this frame of mind, which is why irrational or inappropriate anger is dangerous.
If she is texting you back, look for passive-aggressive anger, such as usually short or sarcastic replies or "how do you think I am" when you ask her "what's up?" If she suddenly starts using periods at the end of her text messages, this could be a sign of anger or aggression.
Angry women make men feel uncomfortable, even threatened. Sad women make men feel gallant and protective. In my work as a psychotherapist, I often witness these social prohibitions against women feeling angry. It's not unusual for women to cry while talking about feeling angry.
I will cherish you in my heart forever and always. I will keep caring, adoring and loving you forever, during the easy times and the challenges we will face. We are in this together, and you are my partner for life. I never knew that love could be this beautiful until you came into my life.
Briefly describe what happened that felt hurtful or disrespectful. Say, “When I was talking, you (said or did this).” Don't go into a long story about what occurred or try to soften the blow by saying you know they didn't mean to be offensive. One sentence that describes your experience of their behavior is enough.
The best way to make her miss you is to give her the time of her life. Take her to amazing dates, cook her delicious meals or even make her go crazy with your amazing sex skills. Sing to her or take her somewhere special that she didn't expect at all.
More often than not, anger in women is a secondary emotion to a bigger, more underlying issue or emotion. Anger affects everyone regardless of age or gender. However, women may be more susceptible to anger from problems related to women's mental health, postpartum rage, and mom burnout.
Can Someone with Anger Issues Change? People can and do change their behavioral patterns all the time–that's often the goal of therapy. However, people with anger issues can only change if they make a commitment and put in the work.
