Gaslighting Defined. Gaslighting is the use of a patterned, repetitive set of manipulation tactics that makes someone question reality. It's often used by people with narcissistic personality disorder, abusive individuals, cult leaders, criminals, and dictators.
Gaslighting is a common strategy used by narcissists to keep another person under their control. However, not all narcissists gaslight, and similarly, not all people who gaslight are narcissists. In other words, if someone gaslights you, it does not necessarily mean they are narcissistic.
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse that highly sensitive and empathic people are particularly susceptible to. This form of manipulation makes the victim doubt themselves, their judgment, and their sensibility.
A gaslighter is often someone in a position of power and can range from a boss to a coworker to even a client or competitor. Gaslighters are often very intelligent, says Connecticut-based psychotherapist Dori Gatter, PsyD.
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which the abuser attempts to sow self-doubt and confusion in their victim's mind. Typically, gaslighters are seeking to gain power and control over the other person, by distorting reality and forcing them to question their own judgment and intuition.
If we stick to the clinical definition, gaslighters have two signature moves: They lie with the intent of creating a false reality, and they cut off their victims socially.
Gaslighters have fragile egos and low self-esteem, so use your own inner strength to keep the balance of power in your favor.
They lack empathy for others, and their gaslighting can cause danger to their victims both mentally and emotionally. Commonly, a gaslighter has a condition known as a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). They have admiration for themselves over others and will do whatever it takes to put themselves in control.
Gaslighters may claim to love their victims as a way to maintain control and manipulate them. Love can be used as a tool for manipulation, making it difficult for the victim to leave the abusive relationship. Gaslighters may not truly understand what love means.
A gaslighter believes their own lies and is insistent upon them which makes the person question themselves.
Gaslighting may be caused by a number of different things. A person often gaslights as a way to gain power and control over others and situations. On the other hand, a person may gaslight because they grew up with parents who were gaslighters, and they learned these behaviors as they grew up.
Deliberate gaslighters
And some people or entities that gaslight do, in fact, realize they are doing it: It is a strategy they have studied—and their sources may surprise you.
Reasons Why a Narcissist Might Gaslight Someone
They may want to control you or make you dependent on them. They may also do it to boost their ego or to make themselves feel better. They are insecure or have low self-esteem. They may also gaslight as a way to manipulate, hurt, or gain power or control over someone.
If the gaslighter is willing to be honest with themselves and do the hard work of changing how they interact it's possible to change this behavior. However, if they're unwilling to recognize the pattern then the pattern is unlikely to change.
There are four primary types of gaslighting behaviors: the straight-up lie, reality manipulation, scapegoating and coercion. Last week we looked at the straight-up lie and reality manipulation. This week we are going to focus on scapegoating and coercion.
Being a perpetrator of gaslighting is treated seriously by authorities and may soon be considered a crime in parts of Australia. Gaslighting is an aspect of coercive control, which is set to be outlawed in NSW and QLD, with other states likely to follow suit.
Gaslighters are known to be narcissists and authoritarian – but always with low self-esteem. They perceive themselves as gifted and brilliant and like to be recognized. However, they are also interested in obtaining and keeping power regardless of how they get it.
Here are gaslighting red flags: They change narratives to deflect blame. They constantly contradict or deny your recollection of events. They minimise or dismiss your concerns.
They do apologize—but those apologies are conditional.
Gaslighters are masters of the "conditional apology." You know, when someone says, "I'm sorry you feel that way." That's not an apology; the other person is not taking responsibility for his behavior.
“Gaslighters are often narcissists and need a constant supply of attention. However, even if you devote 100 percent of yourself to loving and taking care of them, it will never be enough. They will make you feel like you will never be good enough for them,” Sarkis says.
Gaslighting is a form of manipulation and abuse used to gain control over one's victim. It's often difficult to spot gaslighting, as these manipulators make their victims question their own sanity. Gaslighters are domineering but work to present themselves as kind, generous, intelligent, and trustworthy.
People gaslight for a number of reasons, but the central motivation is to gain power and control. While we all might tell an occasional white lie or use gentle reassurances to comfort others or maintain harmony, not everyone resorts to gaslighting as it is a harmful and manipulative behavior.
Gaslighting is abusive behaviour used to coercively control and gain power over another individual.