"Talking or being on your phone during the service is one of the most disrespectful things you could do at a funeral," says Myka Meier, Beaumont Etiquette founder and etiquette expert. It's important to be as present as possible. "Silence your phone, shut off your phone, or even just leave it behind.
This means no jeans, shorts, or tank tops. Instead, opt for dark, conservative clothing. Women should avoid wearing anything too revealing or flashy, and men should make sure their clothing is clean and wrinkle-free.
If you have an adult with you at the funeral home, it is ok to touch a dead body, and you will not get in trouble. You are naturally curious, and sometimes when you see and touch a dead body it helps you answer your questions. Remember to be gentle and have an adult help you.
The simple answer is no. You don't even need to hire a funeral director or religious leader when a loved one dies. Despite what most Australians think, there are no rules, laws, or regulations that require a funeral must be held immediately after a person dies.
Unless the family wants the funeral or memorial service to be private, you are welcome to attend. If you are close to the bereaved or the deceased, live close by and have no extenuating circumstances, then, by all means, go to the funeral. In fact, if you don't go, your presence may be missed.
Is It Okay to Smile at a Funeral? It's not only okay to smile at a funeral but it's also encouraged, especially when greeting the bereaved. Seeing someone smile at us can help lift our spirits. It's also a nonverbal way of showing support.
After the funeral, the family and close relatives to the deceased are supposed to refrain from entertainment and merry-making. This is a basic rule that should be adhered to during such times and events. A period of 49 days is prescribed for this as a way of showing respect to the departed family member.
OPEN-CASKET FUNERAL ETIQUETTE
If they have an open casket viewing, make sure you follow proper funeral etiquette: DON'T touch the body under any circumstances. Sometimes the casket has a glass to prevent this from happening.
Attending a visitation can be the hardest part for people to attend, because it involves talking to the deceased's family. A good recommendation is to say something simple such as “I am sorry about your loss”, especially if there are many other guests waiting to share their condolences.
Wearing dark grey or deep blue is just as appropriate as black, while brown and lighter greys are suitable for the vast majority of funeral services. However, unless specifically requested by the deceased or their family, you should avoid any bright colors such as yellows, oranges, pinks, and reds.
But during the wake of their beloved, superstitions say that one must refrain from sweeping the floor. Neither should you try and take a shower at the place where the deceased is. Doing so may send its spirit away from the place, preventing it from “safely passing” to life after death.
Try jumping jacks, push-ups or jog on the spot, if you have enough space and privacy do so before the funeral. Otherwise, simply pinching yourself could be enough to stop crying. Others bite their cheek, dig their nails into the palm of their hand, or stretch as a means of distraction.
While shorts are never appropriate, for men or women, and miniskirts are frowned upon; bare legs are acceptable if your skirt or dress falls to your knee.
The observation of the 40th day after death occurs in the Eastern Orthodox tradition. The ritual represents spiritual intercession on the part of the dead, who are believed to collectively await the Day of Judgment.
A Filipino superstition holds that you should not go straight home after a funeral. If you do, death may follow you. So stop off somewhere else first.
It is not written anywhere that you have to speak at your loved one's funeral. There are no rules requiring such a moment. If you feel compelled to greet and thank all those gathered or share your thoughts about your loved one, write your thoughts and have someone else read your words during the service.
Most undertakers shut the eyes by using eye caps. An eye cap is a plastic hemisphere dimpled on the outside. The eyelid is pulled up, the eye dried, the cap put on top of the eyeball and the eyelid pulled over it. This has the virtue also of plumping up the eyeballs, which sink in death.
You are not required to actually view the body at a funeral viewing. Many people are a bit uncomfortable with the idea of attending a viewing, but keep in mind that funeral viewing etiquette does not require you to actually look at or spend time with the deceased if you are not comfortable doing so.
Is It Appropriate to Take Photos at a Funeral? Unless explicitly requested by the deceased's family, it is best to avoid taking photographs at a funeral or memorial ceremony. Taking candid photos of the relatives in their most vulnerable moments of grief might cause stress and destroy the mood during the service.
The Funeral Service
Expect service to last between half an hour to one hour; longer for public figures, or if there are lengthy readings or speeches. A clergy member or other officiant presides over the funeral service, and a printed program is generally provided to guests.