Grief and bereavement experts agree that phrases such as these should be avoided: “Everything will be OK.” Don't diminish the mourner's feelings; everything is not OK at the moment. “It's for the best” or “It was God's will.” Clichés and platitudes are not helpful. “I know what you're feeling.” You don't know.
“He/She Deserved to Die”
Yes, it defies common sense that anyone would suggest this to someone mourning the death of a loved one, but judgmental expressions that the deceased somehow deserved to die — even through implication — are far more common than you probably realize.
Let the bereaved focus on their loss. Don't pressure the family to clean out the deceased's belongings. They need to do this in their own time. If you can't visit, a call expressing sympathy for the family is appropriate.
Simple words are often the best. For example, say: “I'm so sorry for your loss. How can I help?” No matter how unsure you may feel about the support you are offering, what matters most is that you are genuinely concerned and want to help. The bereaved person will likely appreciate your sincere efforts to be supportive.
An Australian funeral is usually about a week after the death and most people wear black clothing. Like in North America, funeral personalization is a popular funeral trend. Many people want more music, non-traditional funerals such as an outdoor service, and other special requests for unique memorial services.
Black – Western World
Wearing dark colours for mourning has long been a tradition in many parts of the western world, in particular large parts of Europe and North America. The association of the colour black with death and loss is centuries old and is believed to have originated during Roman times.
➢ Grief is what we think and feel on the inside when someone we love dies. Examples include fear, loneliness, panic, pain, yearning, anxiety, emptiness etc. ➢ It is the internal meaning given to the experience of loss. ➢ Mourning is the outward expression of our grief; it is the expression of one's grief.
Avoid platitudes that can perceived as insensitive, like "He's in a better place," and "The pain will lessen in time." Don't ask how the person died, or tell the bereaved you know how they feel.
Visitors should leave quietly and not say 'bye' when you leave the wake. It is believed that 'zai jian' (see you again) could be taken as an invitation for the deceased to look for you. TBH, we are not too sure of this ourselves, but 'bye bye' is definitely something you should avoid saying at a funeral too.
Is it bad to cry at a funeral? Everyone shows their emotions differently and it can be healthy to cry at a funeral – don't feel embarrassed. Though, if you become a bit overwhelmed and find yourself crying uncontrollably, it's a good idea to excuse yourself until you have regained control.
Don't say you know how the bereaved parent feels. Never say, "It must have been for the best," or "It was God's will." You can not make sense of loss in these ways. These kinds of statements can make the parents feel like you're minimizing their child's death. Never say the child is in a better place.
Check in every now and then just to say hello (you may find it helpful to put reminders on your calendar). Most bereaved people find it difficult to reach out and need others to take the initiative.
Pink: admiration, appreciation, elegance, grace, love (often used at the funerals of women or children)
Cool colors—green, blue and purple
Green, blue and purple are cool colors; they can be seen as calming, soothing, nurturing, subdued or even sad (e.g., blues music, the “baby blues” or Picasso's Blue Period).
Dressing appropriately for funerals around the world
In the West, showing respect at a funeral typically requires conservative attire in black or dark colors. However, white is the color of mourning in China, and for Sikh, Hindu, and some Muslim services.
Unlike the United Kingdom, Australia does not enter an official period of mourning, although there will be a fortnight-long “plan for observance”.
At the traditional funeral most Australians are familiar with, it is respectful to wear smart, well-pressed clothes in a dark colour. Black has long been typically worn by mourners at a traditional funeral, but dark shades such as navy or grey are also appropriate. A smart work suit or outfit is usually acceptable.
Australia's National Day of Mourning for Her Majesty The Queen: Key details. The day will officially be called the "National Day of Mourning for Her Majesty The Queen", and will give a four-day long weekend to one state.
Be reassuring: tell them that it may not seem possible now, but they will feel better. If it's appropriate, share how you dealt with the loss of a loved one. You might say: “I found a way through my grief, and I know you will. You are a strong person, and I am here for you.”
People might feel or act differently to usual when they are grieving. They might have difficulty concentrating, withdraw and not enjoy their usual activities. They may drink, smoke or use drugs. They may also have thoughts of hurting themselves or that they can't go on.