Don't say, "You're being a bully." There's a predictable script when you're talking to a narcissist. She wants/needs/expects something from you, and you resist. The tone becomes adversarial, then heated.
He doesn't want you to know you are lovable and have power in the relationship. Your narcissist wants you to feel small, unlovable, powerless, and without value. This is how he controls you.
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
Being at once grandiose and hypersensitive, narcissists have unrealistic expectations and are threatened by even small slights that others would easily brush off. Feeling embarrassed or humiliated is painful for anyone, but narcissists are especially reactive to those emotions.
Narcissists need constant food for their ego, so they surround themselves with people who are willing to cater to their obsessive craving for affirmation. These relationships are very one-sided. It's all about what the admirer can do for the narcissist, never the other way around.
Acting selflessly implies you can identify needs in another person and work to meet those needs without thought of your own. By definition, someone with traits of narcissism is unlikely to act selflessly because they lack the ability to empathize or see the needs of those around them.
When you don't depend on anyone to make money and you use your abundance to take care of yourself and not predators, you will always have the ability to control your own future. This is power, and pathologically envious narcissists are often turned off by it because it means they cannot easily control a victim.
“Your response is noted.” “Thanks for letting me know your thoughts; I'll consider them.” “Thank you for sharing your opinion.” “I'm willing to work this out, but I am not willing to be insulted or yelled at.”
Dealing with any form of narcissist can be difficult, but when you see that the narcissist is enraged, do not continue engaging with them. Physically distance yourself from them as much as you can. Ignore them and avoid any interaction with them. Set your boundaries, remembering that they will try to manipulate you.
Empathy for others and recognition of their needs. Authentic self-concept. Self-respect and self-love. Courage to abide criticism from others while maintaining positive self-regard.
Narcissists often look for victims who struggle with insecurity and low self-esteem. People who think less of themselves and struggle with the “I am not enough” mindset tend to attract toxic partners.
Narcissists have absolutely no concerns outside of their own needs and desires. They don't care about the people around them as much as they care about themselves.
What does an argument with a narcissist look like?
Ridiculing you. Those who live with narcissism may find it difficult to hold positive and negative feelings for someone at the same time. As a result, things may get heated in an argument. You may experience insults, put-downs, and even mocking behaviors, like laughing as you express hurt.
If you live with a narcissist, you can cope by being honest, helping them implement healthier behaviors, and establishing clear boundaries. In any case, you shouldn't take it personally when you feel offended or disrespected by a narcissist—you aren't the problem here.
