Don't be a participant in their drama. You never want to reinforce someone's bad behavior by focusing on it. The best thing you can do is to ignore them, but in a way that doesn't feel as if you're making an effort — you don't care enough to put any energy towards ignoring them. Starve them of your interest.
When deprived of Narcissistic Supply - both primary AND secondary - the narcissist feels annulled, hollowed out, or mentally disembowelled. This is an overpowering sense of evaporation, disintegration into molecules of terrified anguish, helplessly and inexorably.
Although narcissists act superior to others and posture as beyond reproach, underneath their grandiose exteriors lurk their deepest fears: That they are flawed, illegitimate, and ordinary.
A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.
They Are Criticized. When a narcissist is criticized, their inflated sense of self is damaged. Any perceived negative feedback, even if offered in gentle or productive ways, can easily result in outbursts of narcissistic rage. A narcissist cannot tolerate threats to their massive egos and grandiose self-image.
More than a dozen studies exploring whether or not narcissists can change have now been conducted… and they all point to the same conclusion: encouraging narcissists to feel more caring and compassionate reduces their narcissism… If narcissists are approached in a gentler way, many seem to soften emotionally.
To narcissists, ordinary people (i.e., nearly everybody around them) aren't worthy of attention, so being ordinary would leave them unworthy of the spotlight and left to suffocate.
Narcissists are highly sensitive to criticism or any perceived threat to their self-image, and they will go to great lengths to protect it. If you criticize them or challenge their dominance, you will trigger a defensive response.
Narcissists want to be in control of everything, and that includes the plans you make with them. If you want to drive a narcissist crazy, be late to time-sensitive plans to throw off their day. Be unreliable so they never know what to expect from you next.
Ignoring them does it best. They love attention. It's fuel for their fragile ego and they need it to feel important or valuable. Cutting off your attention is one way to reduce their narcissistic supply.
Type As can also be dangerous to narcissists
Although they can be targeted, type A people can also become a narcissist's worst nightmare. One of the most important defenses against dark personalities is having strong boundaries yourself, and type A people are usually aware they have the right to build them.
It is a misconception that narcissists target weak, vulnerable people because they will be easier to manipulate. They actually go for the exact opposite. They look for people who are confident, successful, attractive and strong-willed.
Narcissists tend to have mixed reactions to the passing away of their siblings, parents, and other close family members. On the one hand, they experience a sense of joy and freedom, and on another, they may feel an overwhelming sense of space combined with grief.
According to Julie L. Hall, author of “The Narcissist in Your Life: Recognizing the Patterns and Learning to Break Free,” narcissists become more extreme versions of their worst selves as they age, which includes becoming more desperate, deluded, paranoid, angry, abusive, and isolated.
remember that ignoring them is the only way to truly hurt a narcissist forever.
While people with narcissism aren't devoid of emotions, their motivations may be self-focused. They can know they're hurting your feelings, but as long as it elevates their status, they may not care. Someone living with narcissism does cry. They can feel regret, remorse, and sadness.
It is common for people with a narcissistic personality disorder to regret discarding or losing someone, but it does not mean what you might think. If they feel regret, it is not because they hurt you. It is for losing something that they value. You are a possession, not a real person.
If you want to upset a narcissist, the easiest way to do it, is to start self-praising in front of them. Narcissists can't stand it when a target talks about their achievements and their talents.
For most of us it's the memories which keep us attached to someone and unable to move on. The narcissist doesn't have this problem. Their brain hasn't stored those memories in the same way so they can quickly move on without the attachment.
Empathize with Their Feelings
It is extremely soothing to Narcissists when you demonstrate that you understand and empathize with how they feel.