Refusing to forgive
Sometimes friends have disagreements and even fight, and it is totally okay as long as they are able to forgive each other and move on. However, if they refuse to forgive each other for something they've said or done wrong and hold grudges, their friendship won't last long.
Drifting apart
Rather, friends tend to drift apart when there is disagreement on issues. Friends also drift apart even when there is no malice. Sometimes circumstances, such as moving away, make it more difficult to maintain the relationship.
Misunderstandings happen. People fail to communicate. Friendships can be destroyed when two people both have crap going on in their lives at the same time and are unable to support each other through difficult times. Sometimes that's how life goes.
The most significant factors in ending a friendship were discovered to be, broadly, selfishness, being more likely to end friendships with those who looked after their own interest, were not supportive of them, were dishonest, and were taking without giving, among the prime reasons.
Some reasons why friendships do not last:
They feel taken advantage of. One friend always wants to choose what they do together. The friends are not honest about how they feel about something. The friends have a fight and they do not make up.
In a toxic friendship, you never feel that support or compassion. You feel minimized when they brush off your problems or ignored outright if they never respond to your messages or requests for help. In short, they aren't there for you when you need a friend most.
Florence Isaacs, author of Toxic Friends/True Friends, explains to WebMD that a toxic friendship is unsupportive, draining, unrewarding, stifling, unsatisfying, and often unequal. Isaacs goes on to say that toxic friends stress you out, use you, are unreliable, are overly demanding, and don't give anything back.
If you're feeling degraded or mistreated by your friend, you are in a negative relationship that can damage your self-esteem and mental health. If your friend speaks to you or calls you names with the intent to hurt your feelings, you are experiencing a bad friendship.
Obviously, most people don't meet all of their friends during childhood and, unfortunately, not all friendships last forever. The poll found that the average friendship lasts for 17 years, however, 17 percent say they've had the same best friend for over 30 years!
Maintaining a lifelong friendship isn't easy. In fact, a 2009 Dutch study found that a large majority of friendships only last about seven years.
You're a toxic friend if you try to distance your friend from others, such as their partner, and if you try to control everything. You might control how you see each other, when you do, what they're permitted to do. You're a toxic friend if you emotionally manipulate them.
They Tease or Insult You Regularly
The next time your friend insults you, let them know it hurts your feelings. A genuine friend will apologize and stop the behavior. A toxic friend will likely accuse you of being sensitive, insist you're overreacting, or keep emphasizing that it's just a joke.
If you're experiencing any sort of gaslighting, manipulation, or guilt-tripping within a friendship – RUN. Seriously, those are major red flags in any relationship and can lead to abuse.
The 3 Rules of Real Friendships
Somebody is a stable and reliable presence in your life. Two, it needs to be a positive relationship, so it makes you feel good. The third is that it's cooperative and there is some form of reciprocity and give-and-take. It's about your ability to be there for your friends.
A disrespectful friend secretly wants to see you upset and doesn't spare a chance to hurt you. It can be their harsh words or certain actions that end up hurting your feelings. Hence, it's important to cut off such friends from your life for your emotional well-being.
Even if you've been friends with someone for a long time, people can grow apart or no longer put equal effort and care into the relationship. If you can't count on them, or feel like you're doing all the work to maintain the friendship, it's okay to go with your gut and cut it off.