Contrary to popular myth, it's impossible for parents to hold or respond to a baby too much, child development experts say. Infants need constant attention to give them the foundation to grow emotionally, physically and intellectually.
Babies love to be held, touched and reassured that you're there, so settling in a cot on their own can often be difficult for them. Your baby's missing your touch and attention, and they're letting you know about it (NHS, 2019). From their very first hours of life, babies will cry when separated from their mothers.
By 6 or 7 months of age, your baby may need some things but want others. At that point, you may be able to resist their demands a little. It's not so much that you're spoiling them if you “give in” to their every wish, but it may be more beneficial to help them understand some limits (often for their own safety).
The longer you hold your baby, the better. Any amount of time is good, but it is best to try for at least 1 to 2 hours each day.
Clinginess is a natural reaction for children experiencing separation anxiety, or fear of being separated from a person they trust. Separation anxiety tends to be strongest from ages 9 to 18 months and usually improves by the time a child is 3. These stages correspond to phases of young child development.
Children can't be too attached, they can only be not deeply attached. Attachment is meant to make our kids dependent on us so that we can lead them. It is our invitation for relationship that frees them to stop looking for love and to start focusing on growing.
Babies and toddlers often get clingy and cry if you or their other carers leave them, even for a short time. Separation anxiety and fear of strangers is common in young children between the ages of 6 months and 3 years, but it's a normal part of your child's development and they usually grow out of it.
How long should you expect this separation anxiety to last? It usually peaks between ten and eighteen months and then fades during the last half of the second year. In some ways, this phase of your child's emotional development will be especially tender for both of you, while in others, it will be painful.
Don't pick up a baby under their arms.
It makes a baby's arms unavailable for self-comfort or support, and it can interfere with their breathing because their ribs are held.
Rest assured, it's perfectly okay to let your child play alone, even at a young age, as long as you're nearby and he's safe. So if your little one is looking at a book in his crib or sitting on the floor stacking cups (within ear- and eyeshot, of course), leave him be.
If your baby is often dirty after a feed, to avoid the disturbance of having to change their nappy twice, it would be better to change the nappy after the feed. If your baby has reflux, they may vomit if they are moved too much with a full tummy, so you might like to change them before a feed.
Newborn babies do not begin to prefer mother, father or anyone at first. In fact, it usually takes infants until they're about 2 or 3 months old before they start to show a strong preference for mother, father or anyone. While a baby is primed for social interaction soon after birth, its abilities are pretty limited.
While separation anxiety plays a big role in baby's attachment, Casares says children can also get clingy when they're dealing with stress, uncertainty, change or are tired or hungry. After all, when your little one is feeling unsettled, it makes sense they turn to you, their caregiver, for comfort.
Why a child only wants one parent. Sometimes when your child favors you or your partner, this is a way of showing toddler independence. She wants to prove that she can make her own choices (in the same way she insists on The Runaway Bunny every night or the green sippy cup every time she has something to drink).
But many first-time parents find that after the first month of parenthood, it can actually get more difficult. This surprising truth is one reason many experts refer to a baby's first three months of life as the “fourth trimester.” If months two, three, and beyond are tougher than you expected, you're not alone.
Children learn to talk when parents and caregivers talk to them a lot. You don't need to make a special time for talking. Any and all talking is good for your child. This includes talking while you dress or bath your baby, talking while you play, singing songs and nursery rhymes, and reading.
Consequences of Not Talking to Your Baby
For starters, babies will learn to speak more slowly than if you did talk to them. Not speaking with your children means their vocabularies will be smaller. Not conversing with your children also means that you're spending less time paying attention to and interacting with them.
How often does my newborn need a bath? There's no need to give your newborn baby a bath every day. Three times a week might be enough until your baby becomes more mobile. Bathing your baby too much can dry out your baby's skin.
Don't lift your newborn by or under their arms
Your baby's head and neck muscles are very weak for the first few months. If you pick them up by or under their arms, you risk injuring their arms or shoulders. Worse, their head will dangle and could flop around, potentially causing a brain injury.
No matter how much you can curl, your arms are still going to throb after holding a 20-lb. sack of child for 20 minutes. That's because carrying a baby is a killer test of muscle endurance. “Holding a kid requires constant muscle contraction for your biceps, shoulders, and back.
Examples of Clinginess in Relationships
Calling your partner several times a day. Repeatedly messaging them throughout the day. Working yourself into a panic when they don't respond. Constantly stalking your partner's activities on social media.
While clingy tendencies may have been “ok” in your previous relationship, being overly needy is generally considered a toxic dating habit.