Use pillows. Pillows can help you feel secure and comfortable as they mimic cuddling. Try a body pillow to achieve the feeling of having a loved one next to you. If you don't have a body pillow, hugging a regular pillow can help reduce stress.
Your stress levels can go up
When you go without your usual interactions—like hugging, cuddling, kissing, etc. —your brain also starts to release more of the stress hormone, which is called cortisol, Dr. Jackson says. As time goes on and you don't receive physical touch to relieve it, you will start to feel wound up.
“People who have higher levels of social anxiety, in general, may be hesitant to engage in affectionate touches with others, including friends.” And the fear of someone 'reaching out'—literally and figuratively—can make that discomfort even worse, she warns. There's also a cultural component to being hug avoidant.
Further, sometimes, for people suffering from anxiety or depression, the levels of oxytocin, or the 'cuddle hormone,' are already so low that physical affection doesn't provide a discernible boost to it — taking away the incentive for physical bonding. Being averse to hugs can also result from trauma, experts believe.
Remember touch is essential and there is no substitution for a great big hug! As author and family therapist Virginia Satir once said, “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth”.
It's OK to Not Hug. The Girl Scouts recently reminded people not to force hugs on little girls… but no one should be forced to show affection, regardless of their age and gender.
Sometimes children don't want physical affection because they're not in the mood, and other times it could be a specific person they don't want to cuddle. It could just be one of those things, there's no reason why but your child just doesn't want to give them a kiss goodbye.
A person may become touch starved when they do not receive enough physical or emotional interaction from others. They may crave hugs, handshakes, or even a simple smile from a stranger. When there is a significant decrease in human interaction, someone might begin to feel isolated or experience symptoms of depression.
It can be hard for someone to know if they are experiencing touch starvation. Most commonly, people will feel an overwhelming sensation of loneliness. People may also experience: stress.
Vivienne Lewis, a clinical psychologist at the University of Canberra, humans are “hardwired to seek out human touch.” “When we hug someone, that physical contact releases a hormone in the body called oxytocin,” she told the ABC. “Oxytocin makes us feel warm and nice. It makes us feel relaxed, feel positive.
When deciding to hug or not to hug a person, refer to the following rules of hug etiquette:-Always respect another person's space. -Ask permission before hugging someone, unless you are already on intimate terms with the person. -Hug accordingly.
According to the theory, best friends don't hug because a healthy friendship means setting boundaries. If you're close enough to another person to let them know what feels comfortablefor you, you likely have the foundation of a solid friendship.
Hugging a girl is a great way to show affection, whether you like her as just a friend or something more. If she's a girl you like romantically, wait for a moment when you're both feeling relaxed and comfortable together. Try to get a sense of how she feels by keeping an eye on her body language.
That's as simple as nicely saying, "I don't feel comfortable hugging at this particular time, can we elbow bump instead?" You could also wave, blow an air kiss, or try another friendly greeting.
When you don't get enough physical touch, you can become stressed, anxious, or depressed. As a response to stress, your body makes a hormone called cortisol. This can cause your heart rate, blood pressure, muscle tension, and breathing rate to go up, with bad effects for your immune and digestive systems.
Anxiety and Stress-Related Disorders
Stress-related disorders, such as PTSD, OCD, or panic disorder, may also lead to fear or discomfort around physical contact. These conditions affect the way your brain processes things in the moment and over time, making you more likely to become stressed when touched.
Being touch starved is also known as touch deprivation or skin hunger and it is more common than you think. This phenomenon can result from various factors, such as social isolation, personal circumstances, or even cultural norms that discourage physical affection.
The Importance Hugging Your Teen
There's a saying that a child needs four hugs a day for survival, eight for maintenance, and 12 for growth. So, how do you give your teenager 12 hugs a day? “Always hug your teenager when you first see him in the morning,” Markham advises.
When people hug for 20 seconds or more, the feel-good hormone oxytocin is released which creates a stronger bond and connection between the huggers. Oxytocin has been shown to boost the immune system and reduce stress.
Psychologists in London claim they have cracked the code on the ideal embrace, saying hugs should last between five and 10 seconds. According to researchers at Goldsmiths university, longer hugs were found to provide an immediate pleasure boost compared to shorter ones (lasting just one second).