It is natural for babies and children to want to sleep with their parents, or very close to them. It is a primal response. Look at young dependent mammals – they all sleep next to their parents/mother. You address your children's needs during the daytime, don't you, so why should that change at night?
While sometimes this is a sign of a deep set insecurity or a lack of self-acceptance, sometimes it is simply a ritual or a habitual way of seeking attention from their parents – they know that when they ask question about whether they are loved they will always get a positive and reassuring response from their parents.
Remember touch is essential and there is no substitution for a great big hug! As author and family therapist Virginia Satir once said, “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth”.
If you are feeling overwhelmed as a mom, you are not alone. The “depleted mother syndrome” is a term used to describe the feeling of exhaustion and depletion that many mothers experience. It is a very real phenomenon, and it can have a significant impact on a mother's ability to function.
If your younger one has this query, you can simply explain to her that just the way her love for dad and mom cannot be compared (and is equal in a way), you love both your children equally. Half of the time when kids ask you this question, it is majorly because you love them enough.
It tells them they are valuable.
When children know they are loved because of who they are – not because of what they have done – they begin to realize the true value of their lives. And people who fully realize the inherent value of life are more likely to make the most of it.
The only caveats our experts came out with about potentially saying 'I love you' too much is if it's not said with feeling. "If it's said as often as good morning then it can become meaningless," warns Paula Hall. Worse though are parents using the words in a manipulative way.
Let Your Child Sleep on Their Own by Age Five
Parents should introduce sleeping in their own spaces as early as five years old. This is when they are fully grown, and still young enough to get used to the norm of having their bed and space.
A pediatrician and a child psychologist say co-sleeping is OK until a child reaches prepuberty. Alicia Silverstone recently shared in a podcast that she and her 11-year-old son share a bed. A pediatrician said co-sleeping should not happen before 12 months and should stop at prepuberty.
“The brain likes comfort and associates comfortable things with whatever was happening in the moment,” says Kolari. Toddlers look for comforting sensations that were familiar to them as babies—sucking, touching, skin-to-skin contact—and find a way to repeat them.
While you shouldn't hesitate to be affectionate to all of your family members, when it comes to affection with your spouse in front of the kids, keep it simple and rated "G." Home is the place where your kids learn what a loving relationship looks like, but don't cross the boundry and make your kids feel uncomfortable ...
You can tell your kids about different kinds of touches, Dickson says. Safe (good) touches feel caring, like pats on the back or wanted hugs. Unsafe (or bad) touches hurt your body or feelings, such as pinching or hitting. Children should know it's ok to say no even if it's a family member or friend.
The Islamic ruling on this matter is as follows: Firstly: If this hugging and kissing is of the type that takes place between husband and wife when they are alone, then it is not permissible to do it in front of the children whether they are little or big. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"I Love You" Is An Affirmation
When you tell your son you love him, you offer him your emotional support and encouragement. You let him know you value him. The affirmation of your unconditional love gives him the emotional capacity to love himself and other people in his life.
At age 3 or 4, many children are stringing together short sentences. That means they may even begin to express their love for you with actual words and phrases. You might hear "I love you, Mommy" or "Your skin is so soft" or even "I want to marry you and be together forever." They all mean the same thing.
"Lack of expression of affection from their parents could contribute to them developing deviant behaviour. The boys in whose lives their parents did not sow affection, may struggle to give or receive affection. They may be overly aggressive.
As well as the obvious hugs and kisses, children show they love you by rubbing their face against yours, holding your hand and sitting on your lap. Asking to be picked up, snuggling into your arms, resting their head on your shoulder. There's no greater trust than what a child has for their parent.
Parents of children with an avoidant attachment tend to be emotionally unavailable or unresponsive to them a good deal of the time. They disregard or ignore their children's needs, and can be especially rejecting when their child is hurt or sick.
For those who are full-time caretakers of the household and family, stay-at-home-mom (SAHM) burnout refers to a state of being depleted by this particularly challenging and often isolating role. Mothers are thought to be at higher risk for experiencing stress as they are typically the primary caregivers in family.
(Read about emotionally immature parents here)
Reasons abound, including: Trauma: Trauma has a profound impact on our physical and mental health. If someone was treated poorly as a child or experienced a negative life-changing event, it may cause detachment from their children. Getting therapy may help.