Sometimes the stress outside of your relationship becomes so overbearing that you decide you need to put things on hold to focus on it. This can lead a guy to suddenly becoming cold and distant. Make sure you pay attention to what's going on in a guys life outside of his relationship with you.
If the hot and cold behavior is taking a toll on your self-esteem, it might be best to take some time away from the relationship and focus on yourself. Even though it may feel like the hot and cold guy is intentionally trying to hurt you, most of the time they aren't.
Guys mainly act distant when they are uncertain of their feelings or yours. Please don't give up when you notice a sudden change in his demeanor. Instead, make him trust you more by assuring him of your love. Let him know you value the relationship and hope you build it together.
If he's affectionate, pays attention to you, and puts effort into the relationship, you might be overthinking the situation. If he frequently cancels plans with no explanation or apology, ignores you, and doesn't initiate conversations, he might be losing interest.
Fear of commitment, apprehension of losing control over their lives, or bitter past experiences may be responsible for such behavior. He may need some space before committing and may not be sure if he feels compatible or emotionally connected with you. Your overpowering traits may also worry him.
Men pull away due to multiple reasons ranging from fears, insecurities, or anxieties to desperation or loss of love. It is crucial for you to figure out the reason behind his pulling away to protect your relationship. And probably the best way to deal with it is to give him space. Let him figure out his emotions.
Things You Should Know
Consider reasons his interest may have waned: maybe he's shy, maybe he's playing head games, or maybe he's just realized you're not compatible! Decide whether it's worth it to pursue him anyway. He might just need time—or he might just not be worth the trouble. Ask him directly what's going on.
When a guy acts interested, then backs off, the reason has less likely to do with you and more to do with him. His past experiences could be coming in the way of your romantic dreams. Maybe, he has been abused, cheated on, or deeply hurt by a partner before, and thus, has his guards high up.
One clear power move that a man will do to you when he's trying to test your patience? He'll ignore you for days at a time, not giving you any updates on where he is, what he's been up to, or whether or not he's even still alive.
Give him space
He is acting distant because that's what feels right to him. If you give space and time to figure out things out, then eventually he'll more than likely come around. As we mentioned above, guys take longer to process their emotions. So give him that time.
Be calm and clear in your communication, and express how his silence is making you feel. Ask him to share what's going on with him and see if there's anything you can do to support him.
Common Reasons Your Boyfriend May Be Distant
He could be worried about a friend or family member in trouble. Your boyfriend could be giving his time and attention to other people, romantically or not. He may feel overwhelmed if the relationship is getting serious.
Leave him alone when he pulls away
A lot of it is related to fear of commitment, which could be stemming from past relationship trauma. If you believe that your guy is pulling away, give him that space to deal with his emotions.
He might truly feel like you're too good for him and that you deserve something better. This usually ties back to his feelings of guilt from past mistakes and his low self-esteem. He might leave you with the mindset of, “I love you enough to let you go on to better things.”
One of the most common signs that someone is emotionally unavailable is that they don't reveal or show their actual feelings around you. And while you may encourage them to open up and be able to express their emotions, they never let their guard down around you to say what's really on their mind.
02/7Fear of commitment
This is the most common reason why many men back out the moment they find themselves getting close. They get this irrational fear of being accountable to someone for their life. When they realise they are getting serious, they fear being tied down and their first reaction is to run south.
Yes, in many instances, pulling away may bring him closer. If you distance yourself more than you need, there are high chances that he will try to connect with you more often and may want you more.
If the guy you're genuinely interested in doesn't return your calls, takes days to text back, or frequently cancels plans you two had, it could mean he's not thinking of you in the way you're thinking of him.
If your partner no longer initiates contact with you, doesn't pay attention, avoids planning the future with you, only meets up for sex, and so on, these could be signs he is not into you anymore. It's painful to realize that the guy you love isn't interested in you, but it's time to move on.