With awareness, patience, and emotional skill, denial can be worked with and around. Using “I” statements and leaving out “you said this” statements can help turn down the heat on the conflict. The most important thing you can do in the face of denial is stay grounded in your truth and speak from your own heart.
Denial is the “deliberate, often psychologically motivated, neglect of information that would be too upsetting or anxiety-provoking to allow into one's belief system,” says Paul Appelbaum, former head of the American Psychiatric Association. It's a way, really, for people to make things make sense to themselves.
de·ni·al·ist di-ˈnī(-ə)l-ist. dē- plural denialists. : a person who denies the existence, truth, or validity of something despite proof or strong evidence that it is real, true, or valid : someone who practices denialism.
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A liar is someone who doesn't tell the truth.
n. a defense mechanism in which unpleasant thoughts, feelings, wishes, or events are ignored or excluded from conscious awareness. It may take such forms as refusal to acknowledge the reality of a terminal illness, a financial problem, an addiction, or a partner's infidelity.
People who live in a state of denial will experience short-term consequences like feelings of isolation, anxiety, and sadness. Long-term consequences can include the feeling that you have never worked through your experience, and you may end up feeling perpetually “stuck” in it, O'Neill explains.
Denial is another example of narcissistic gaslighting; it includes a blatant denial of facts. For example, gaslighting narcissists may use phrases like, “That never happened” or, “You're imagining things.” They may outright deny any wrongdoing by saying things like, “I would never do something like that.”
When someone engages in denial, they ignore or refuse to accept reality. The denial defense mechanism can be an attempt to avoid uncomfortable realities (such as grief), anxiety, or truths or a means of coping with distressing or painful situations, unpleasant feelings, or traumatic events.
To protect themselves from feelings of inferiority and shame, narcissists must always deny their shortcomings, cruelties, and mistakes. Often, they will do so by projecting their own faults on to others.
To be clear, denial is not a mental disorder; however, people often mistakenly believe that anosognosia is denial.
The best way to move beyond the denial stage of grief is to begin to acknowledge the loss and allow yourself to feel the emotions attached to it. When you begin to experience the pain associated with the loss, it forces you to move out of the denial stage.
Confronting the traumatic event and what it meant to you may bring up hurtful memories and sensations. This is why denial is often a natural trauma response. Trauma denial may serve as a shield that emotionally and mentally disconnects you from the traumatic event. But it may not aid you in healing the pain.
Denial or Delusion? A thin line exists between denial and delusional thinking. The difference between the two involves the dismissal of truth and a belief in something that's blatantly false.
Narcissists also lie by withholding and selecting information. They lie as a form of gaslighting to extend their control over targets by making them constantly question and doubt themselves. They often frequently claim that they value and even love their targets. In doing so, they have little to no inhibitions.
What drives a pathological liar? Overwhelm is not a form of anxiety. But frequent feelings of overwhelm can be a symptom of an anxiety Underlying mental health issues such as personality disorders, other mental disorders, and childhood trauma can catalyze pathological lying.
Delusional liars: those who lie to themselves about facts. It's not just other people we lie to. We also lie to ourselves.