Tell the what Christmas means to you, remind them of the years they enjoyed believing in Santa, and then let them know that you are happy to have the be a special part of keeping the tradition going.
However, you can soften the blow by sharing the historical story of Saint Nicholas and explaining how his life fits into the traditions we know today. You can also take a more ambiguous approach. You may choose to tell your child that some people don't believe in Santa, but others do.
But, according to VERY IMPORTANT CHRISTMAS RESEARCH, my Santa revelation was right on par with other kids. A study from 1978 found that about 85 percent of young American kids believe in Santa, and researchers today confirm those numbers still hold true, with many kids believing until about age eight.
"It's not an overnight shift in thinking," says Laura Lamminen, Ph. D., a pediatric psychologist at Children's Health℠, "and there's no set age where children should know the truth about Santa Claus." Dr. Lamminen says each family and each child within that family will be ready to talk about Santa at different ages.
If children ask parents about the existence of Santa Claus, bounce the question back by asking, "What do you think?" and facilitate a discussion. "Kids realize the difference between what's real and what's not real," Smith said. "They start asking questions that should be answered honestly by parents."
Many parents dread the day their child begins questioning if Santa is real. While there is no perfect age to have this conversation, parents often start noticing their children becoming skeptical around eight, but this can vary. However, it may be beneficial to initiate the conversation before middle school.
"There is no such thing as being too old to believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy," Kelman tells Yahoo Life. "Letting kids figure it out on their own is preferable to parents breaking the news to them.
Santa is an idea
The truth is, he's not a person at all – he's an idea. Get them to think of all those presents Santa gave them over the years. Explain that you actually bought those yourself and that Santa Claus is the idea of giving for the sake of giving, without thanks or acknowledgement.
Most experts agree you shouldn't lie in this situation. But how can you tell the truth in a way that hurts less? The best approach is to tell them Santa isn't actually a person, but rather the spirit of Christmas that lives in everyone who welcomes it.
About 40 percent of the parents polled by the site said the right age to break the news about Santa to children is between the ages of 8 and 12, while one in 10 adults feel you can put off that disclosure until after kids turn 12. A startling 27 percent of those surveyed don't ever plan to tell their kids.
Most Americans (67%) stopped expecting Santa to shimmy down their chimney by the time they entered seventh grade. Half (49%) of Americans say they stopped believing in Santa before the age of 10 – with a quarter (23%) reporting that they lost sight of him between the ages of seven (10%) and eight (13%).
Beliefs in Santa are incredibly prevalent among children in many Western countries. One study by Jacqueline Woolley at the University of Texas at Austin (UTA) found that more than 80 per cent of 5-year-olds in the US are convinced of his existence.
Believing in Santa Claus can also benefit children's development as an avenue for creativity, imagination and play. There are developmentally appropriate ways to sensitively and honestly respond to your child's questions about him.
Explain that Santa is a symbol
Say something like this, “The Santa that you see in books, movies, and in stores is a person in a costume. People dress up in Santa costumes to remind us… …of someone who lived a long, long time ago called St. Nicholas who secretly gave money to people who needed it.”
Studies suggest children with rich fantasy lives may actually be better at identifying the boundaries between fantasy and reality. But if parents want to, by all means they're entitled to do so. Any benefit from believing in Santa vanishes when children stop believing in him.
There isn't a right or wrong age to tell kids the truth
So don't be surprised if your child starts asking questions. You might not get a direct question like, "Is Santa real?" But you may get questions like, "How do reindeer fly?" or "How does Santa make it all around the world in one night?"
While everyone is different, according to a recent poll by House Method, the average age kids in the United States stop believing in Santa Claus is 8.5 years. So, chances are good that somewhere around then is the right age for your child to learn the true story about Santa Claus.
As for when the shift starts to happen, it's different depending on the child, but expect the questioning to get serious somewhere between the ages of 7 and 10.
“Are Mom and Dad really Santa?” We know that you want to know the answer and we had to give it careful thought to know just what to say. The answer is no. We are not Santa. There is no one, single Santa.
8- to 9-Year-Olds
Some kids are ready for the truth at this age; others are not. If needed, ask a few probing questions like, "Why do you ask?" before deciding how to answer. Keep in mind that research shows that even when children discover that Santa is not real, they still like the idea of Santa.
If you are looking for an effective and gentle way to convey the truth about Santa Claus to your young children, look no further than Love, Santa by Martha Brockenbrough. This book is fantastic and is a great way to ease into the conversation for kids ages 6-11.
While the last baby teeth generally aren't lost until age ten or 11, most children stop believing in the tooth fairy by the time they're seven or eight. Of course, children are more than happy to play along with the game when there's money at stake!
Talk to them about your own experience with learning about Santa Claus and how you share the magic of Christmas through your own gift-giving. Explain that all parents “become” Santa one day, sharing the magic of Christmas with their own children, and that one day they will become that for their family.
Many kids believe whole-heartedly for several years. Then, when they reach age 7 or 8, they begin to have some doubts. Between their own intellectual development and the chance that another child tells them, kids usually piece it all together on their own when they are 8 to 10 years old.