Be casual and polite to keep things friendly.
Try not to immediately dive into questions or beg them to get back together with you. Instead, reply to their message like you would anyone else. This can help foster a casual relationship with your ex, which is great if you want to be friends with them.
1. When your ex contacts you during no contact it is important you don't reply right away. Instead, wait about three hours to text or call him back or 24 hours to email.
The very fact that your ex has reached out to you (texts, emails, snaps, or calls) probably means that your no contact has been able to make your ex miss you and they are interested in getting back together – at least to some degree. Assume that your ex wants to see you.
If the only thing to gain is pettiness or short-term validation, or a desire to not hurt them by not responding, it's likely best that you don't text back. However, if you want to reconcile or apologize or get back to being friends or possibly rekindle the relationship, it may be good to hear from your ex-partner.
Your ex could be texting you to have a heart-to-heart with you. Whether it is guilt or forgiveness, wanting to have a conversation about your relationship, what went wrong, or why things happened the way they did could be good or bad for you. It depends on you whether you are also ready to revisit those memories.
Some coaches suggest that you should ignore a text from your ex when you are in no contact after they broke up with you, but what actually happens most of the time is that you risk helping your ex to move on from you. This calls into serious question the professional experience of the coaches who suggest this.
Resuming communications via text may be your ex's way of testing the waters. Perhaps, they miss the friendship you had that brought you together in the first place. Maybe, your ex wants you to miss them as much as they miss you. Your ex may want to see if you have already moved on and are in another relationship.
A neutral response
I hope you're doing well. It's been a while since we talked. Tell me about what you've been doing in the last couple of weeks.” This neutral response doesn't set up any expectations and gives you some time to converse, feel things out, and then decide based on how you feel.
What Is Breadcrumbing? Breadcrumbing is when we're shown tiny bits of interest or affection at a time from someone, whether they're a romantic suitor or an ex – but not enough for us to assume interest. They might send an out-of-the-blue text or leave a flirty comment on our latest selfie or invite us out to coffee.
A Part Of Them Misses You
Even though your ex broke up with you, the reaching out is an indication there's a part of them that misses you - even if they don't say that in their message or call. What it doesn't necessarily mean, is that they want to get back together.
While this isn't a foolproof plan, it may affect how your ex feels when you ignore them. Instead of being able to look at how badly you are affected by the breakup, they will not indicate that you miss them or want to get back together. Additionally, they won't know if you are dating someone new.
1) It will shock them
And most of the time, the dumper will still have some feelings for the person they left behind. Sometimes they regret it immediately but stay their course out of pride. Others do it to play mind games.
You cut all ties with them – no phone calls or text messages with their friends and family members. You will try to remove your ex from your world during the period and learn to live without them. The no contact after breakup psychology will only work if both parties commit to it. There shouldn't be any gray area.
Your ex contacting you out of the blue could be an indication that they are not over you. If they were, they would not have any reason to contact you. And even if they did, the conversation would be short-lived. Exes usually try to get closure or apologize for misdeeds and that's it.
“There's no need to over-explain, to justify, or defend why you'd not want to see them, it's really none of their business,” she assured. “What you can do is tell them, 'I appreciate you reaching out to me, I want to let you know I've moved on and I wish you all the best. Take care.
It can cause emotional trauma.
A person who is ignored feels a wide range of confusing emotions. They may feel anger, sadness, frustration, guilt, despair, and loneliness, all at once. Naturally, such emotional confusion can have a damaging effect on your psyche.
Being ignored by your ex does hurt. Not only that, but it also carries tangible and unrelenting consequences. It lowers self-esteem, makes you more prone to misery, anxiety, and depression, and obstructs or even prevents you from getting closure.
It's unlikely that an ex will forget about you, even if you don't communicate with them after the breakup. Relationships tend to make an large emotional impact on both people involved, so it's likely your ex will remember you and the relationship even after the breakup.
Texting an ex not only depletes YOU of your precious energy, but it also charges up someone who has harmed you in the past. It buoys someone who exploited and used your energy during the relationship, even out of the relationship and in return for nothing.
For some, the familiarity of talking to someone that they once spent a great deal of time with could relieve feelings of loneliness or feel comfortable. Some individuals feel they can remain close after a breakup without negative emotions. In these cases, your ex might want you as a friend.