An example of defensive behavior stemming from trauma is when someone has been through abuse in the past and has a hard time trusting other people because of it. So when their partner questions them about something, they lash out with defensive actions to keep others away so that nothing bad happens again.
Causes of Defensiveness
Feeling like others don't care enough about you. Being afraid of rejection. Having low self-esteem. Lacking confidence.
Some personality disorders can trigger defensiveness.
Disorders like Paranoid Personality Disorder and Avoidant Personality Disorder may cause people to feel like they are constantly under threat of attack or mistreatment. They might also feel so insecure that they have to keep their guard up in social situations.
Defensiveness refers to both a feeling and a behavior. The feeling is typically elicited when you feel as though someone is being critical of you, and results in shame, sadness, and anger.
Feeling defensive "is a natural self-protection mechanism that we have inside us", says Dr Kate Renshall, a clinical psychologist based in Sydney. "I think we all get defensive when somebody pushes on something that feels too close to home, or touches on something we already might doubt about ourselves."
An example of defensive behavior stemming from trauma is when someone has been through abuse in the past and has a hard time trusting other people because of it. So when their partner questions them about something, they lash out with defensive actions to keep others away so that nothing bad happens again.
A defensive person can be someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It can also be someone that is a regular victim of emotional abuse that is constantly criticized. A defensive person can also be someone that has low self-esteem or that has a difficult time listening to criticisms about themself.
Clinically, PTSD patients often exhibit excessive defensive responses to relatively minor stimulations, manifesting provoked behaviors and experiencing recurrent painful memories of involuntary and invasive traumatic events (1).
Defensiveness is a coping skill — a response to a perceived attack or criticism. In general, there are two ways to respond: You can deny it, act out, attack, blame someone else, or. You can intellectually rationalize the perceived attack or criticism.
However, when someone gets defensive about their idea or point of view, it is usually a clear sign of insecurity. Defensiveness occurs if we know we aren't comfortable with what we are saying or doing.
Defensiveness is a harmful and unhealthy emotional coping strategy that leads to personal and relationship dissatisfaction over time by avoiding bad feelings in the short term and not actually solving the problem.
Tactile defensiveness (TD) is a disturbance in sensory processing and is observed in some children with attention-deficit-hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).
And it's normal to feel defensive. The amygdala, which is the part of the brain that constantly scans our environment for threats, cannot tell the difference between a psychological threat and a physical threat. Essentially, we get defensive because we don't feel safe.
Research from 2020 suggested that people use defensiveness to give themselves a break when they do something wrong. A person may become defensive because they're: misrepresenting or forgetting what occurred. deflecting blame onto others. trying to maintain social status.
The antidote to defensiveness? Take responsibility. The antidote to defensiveness is to accept responsibility for your role in the situation, even if only for part of the conflict. In healthy relationships, partners don't get defensive when discussing an area of conflict.
People with high levels of narcissism tend to respond very defensively when their positive self-evaluations are threatened.
Psychological defensiveness includes the many ways that we let ourselves off the hook when we do wrong: misrepresenting or misremembering what occurred, not paying attention to information that is critical deflecting blame to others, minimising any harm caused, denying responsibility or disengaging entirely from the ...
Defensive individuals don't like to “work through” emotional issues in the collaborative way adults are expected to. They can be highly impulsive and quick in their emotional reactions, without pausing to think things through in a balanced way. Finally, they tend to avoid too much emotional closeness with others.
Intrusive memories
Recurrent, unwanted distressing memories of the traumatic event. Reliving the traumatic event as if it were happening again (flashbacks) Upsetting dreams or nightmares about the traumatic event. Severe emotional distress or physical reactions to something that reminds you of the traumatic event.
They may be impulsive, acting before they think. Aggressive behaviors also include complaining, "backstabbing," being late or doing a poor job on purpose, self-blame, or even self-injury. Many people with PTSD only use aggressive responses to threat. They are not able to use other responses that could be more positive.
They are sensitive but, often, their reactions to your comments are a defence mechanism. The two may feel the same to the person experiencing these feelings but, in reality, they are worlds apart.
People don't like to viewed negatively. If there is a chance they will be seen as incompetent, negative, uncooperative, or unsupportive, they will respond defensively when confronted. This is a common reaction. Every one of us wants to put our best self forward.
Instead of communicating needs or stating a position using clear, concise, and non-combative language, a defensive person will rely on passive-aggressive statements that throw the argument back on their partner. Instead of explaining a point of view, all you're doing is giving your partner all new reasons to be angry.