Situations in which they feel rejected, criticized or abandoned may result in a BPD episode. Loss or Rejection: Experiencing loss or rejection, such as the end of a relationship or a job termination, may also trigger an episode of BPD for some people.
Some potential causes of quiet BPD may be the result of: Family history of various personality disorders. History of other mental health conditions (anxiety disorders, bipolar disorder, eating disorders, substance abuse, depression, etc.) History of neglect, abuse, trauma, or abandonment in childhood.
Having quiet borderline personality disorder (BPD) — aka “high-functioning” BPD — means that you often direct thoughts and feelings inward rather than outward. As a result, you may experience the intense, turbulent thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that characterize BPD, but you try to hide them from others.
Signs and symptoms of quiet borderline personality disorder
Living with quiet borderline personality disorder can be exhausting and incredibly debilitating. It can stop a person from being able to enjoy their everyday life, as they struggle to cope with the intense thoughts and emotions that they experience.
Separations, disagreements, and rejections—real or perceived—are the most common triggers for symptoms. A person with BPD is highly sensitive to abandonment and being alone, which brings about intense feelings of anger, fear, suicidal thoughts and self-harm, and very impulsive decisions.
For many folks with BPD, a “meltdown” will manifest as rage. For some, it might look like swinging from one intense emotion to another. For others, it might mean an instant drop into suicidal ideation. Whatever your experience is, you're not alone.
Individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPDs) become overwhelmed and incapacitated by the intensity of their emotions, whether it is joy and elation or depression, anxiety, and rage. They are unable to manage these intense emotions.
'Splitting' is a common BPD symptom. When you split, people become either in the 'good' or 'bad camp. The person you loved yesterday may become your enemy today. When you have quiet BPD, you would not directly confront them or fight for the relationship.
Whereas the typical presentation of BPD involves angry outbursts and obvious and outward self destructiveness, those with quiet BPD have internalized emotional episodes2 (they turn their anger inward). For this reason, quiet BPD tends to go undiagnosed or is misdiagnosed.
People with BPD feel firmly attached to their favorite person and may depend on them for comfort, reassurance, and guidance. In many cases, someone with BPD may rely entirely on their favorite person. As a result, they may idealize them and expect them to always be available.
For someone with BPD, the favorite person is deemed the most important person in their life. This person can be anyone, but it's often a romantic partner, family member, good friend, or another supportive person (like a coach, therapist, or teacher).
The main difference between classic BPD and quiet BPD is that a person with classic BPD externalises their emotions through explosive outbursts, whereas one with quiet BPD directs those outbursts inwards, hiding their suffering.
While people with quiet BPD often seem fine outwardly, they are struggling inside with feelings of intense loneliness, shame, or self-criticism. BPD is estimated to affect about 1.6% of the population at any one time. However, some estimates put the percentage closer to 6%.
Anxiolytics (Anti-Anxiety Drugs)
Because individuals with BPD also often experience intense anxiety, medications to reduce anxiety are sometimes prescribed. Common anxiolytics include: Ativan (lorazepam) Buspar (buspirone)
Often, the borderline person is unaware of how they feel when their feelings surface, so they displace their feelings onto others as causing them. They may not realise that their feelings belong within them, so they think that their partner is responsible for hurting them and causing them to feel this way.
In quiet BPD, instead of confronting them or bursting out in rage, you shut down. You may disappear, ignore the offender, unfriend them on social media, or give them the silent treatment. If you don't give others a chance to explain or to try and mend the relationship, they may not even be aware of what has happened.
The destructive and hurtful behaviors are a reaction to deep emotional pain. In other words, they're not about you. When your loved one does or says something hurtful towards you, understand that the behavior is motivated by the desire to stop the pain they are experiencing; it's rarely deliberate.
Individuals with cPTSD tend to have a more stable sense of Self but struggle with consistent feelings of low self-worth, guilt, and shame. Individuals with BPD, on the other hand, have a more unstable sense of Self – they may not know who they are at their core and frequently change their interests and hobbies.
Consider cutting out all processed food and sugar for a few weeks and observe your energy level and your emotions. Avoid misusing alcohol or caffeine, as these also can intensify mood instability. BPD sometimes includes symptoms of self-harm or substance abuse.
Unlike BPD, which is a personality disorder, Bipolar Disorder (BD) is a mood disorder. This condition is characterized by a distorted emotional state that can range from crippling depression to extended periods of mania. Bipolar disorder is also more common than borderline personality disorder.
The best strain for borderline personality disorder is cannabis sativa since it helps ease anxiety and boost mood. However, it's important to be aware of the health risks and side effects that follow marijuana abuse.
Borderline personality disorder is one of the most painful mental illnesses since individuals struggling with this disorder are constantly trying to cope with volatile and overwhelming emotions.
Individuals living with quiet BPD may have decreased levels of empathy, high conflict relationships, clinginess and fear of abandonment, adds Dr. Lira de la Rosa. “The combination of these symptoms can lead to unstable interpersonal relationships, low self-esteem and periods of depression.”