In simple terms, a scapegoat is someone unfairly targeted with projected shame, rage, and blame by another person or group. In an emotionally illiterate or volatile narcissistic family, it is common for one child to be singled out for ongoing scapegoating.
People who scapegoat others have certain particular traits; theseinclude a sense of superiority and pride, a large ego which needs maintaining, feelings of entitlement and grandiosity, limited personal self-reflection,poor character, self-righteousness, and hypocrisy. Did I mention arrogance?
For individuals, scapegoating is a psychological defense mechanism of denial through projecting responsibility and blame on others. [2] It allows the perpetrator to eliminate negative feelings about him or herself and provides a sense of gratification.
For Girard, scapegoats are always innocent of the specific charges laid against them; the accusations are always false; scapegoating is always a heinous act of injustice.
Although the strengths of the narcissistic family scapegoat make her/him a target, they are also her/his salvation. Scapegoats' ability to see and question, along with their desire for justice, enable them to escape the family tyranny when others cannot.
Scapegoating is a common form of parental verbal abuse. Research shows that scapegoating allows a parent to think of the family as healthier than it is. Scapegoating lets a parent minimize responsibility for and explain negative outcomes, enhancing a sense of control.
In simple terms, a scapegoat is someone unfairly targeted with projected shame, rage, and blame by another person or group. In an emotionally illiterate or volatile narcissistic family, it is common for one child to be singled out for ongoing scapegoating.
Like the strong goat Aaron selected, the target of family scapegoating is also often the strongest and healthiest member of the family. At first blush, this may sound counterintuitive. But think about it a little more.
Many times, healing the scapegoat role on a personal level is about deep healing of trauma, empowerment, and a place to process emotion and find safety in relationship. Healing the scapegoat role in community means learning how to forge new relationships of repair and effective emotional communication.
Family Scapegoating Abuse occurs when your primary caregivers or other important 'power holders' in the family (grandparents, dominant siblings or extended family members) single you out as being 'defective' and repeatedly give you the message that you are 'bad', 'different', or 'not good enough'.
Believing you are not praised often
Over time, scapegoated children might give up trying to succeed at anything. A lifetime of discouragement instead of rewards and praise could take its toll. They accept the family's narrative of their flaws. This can lead to a lifetime of low self-esteem and crippling self-doubt.
Role of Ego: In scapegoating, ego defenses play an essential role. To a more vulnerable person or group, uncomfortable feelings such as frustration, anger, and shame are displaced or redirected onto another. The scapegoat is discharged and distracts from their negative emotions by using others as scapegoats.
The narcissist charms everyone around them. They manipulate others to support their distorted version of reality. All the while, they enjoy the feeling of power they get from making the scapegoat suffer. The narcissist is driven by envy, jealousy and a lack of empathy.
The “plebs” might resent them, but a scapegoat is a victim that can be safely attacked.
In family units where a parent or caregiver has narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), there's typically a family “scapegoat” — a person the family blames for their problems as a means of deflecting attention from real conflict.
The narcissistic parent wants the scapegoated child to believe they are as horrible as they are being told. If the child shows a sense of self-worth or self-possession the narcissistic parent will take this as an affront to their authority. In essence “How dare my child not think he's as bad as I say he is!
Scapegoating is defined by dictionary.com as “the act or practice of assigning blame or failure to another, as to deflect attention or responsibility away from oneself.” Cheating individuals often use scapegoating as a form of Gaslighting, scooping blame onto their partner in order to justify their extracurricular ...
The Problems with Scapegoating
The individual who is taking the blame learns that they're going to get in trouble for things that happen around them even if those things have absolutely nothing to do with them. This can make them feel like they can't do anything right at all.
The scapegoat was sent into the wilderness for Azazel, possibly for the purpose of placating that evil spirit, while a separate goat was slain as an offering to God. By extension, a scapegoat has come to mean any group or individual that innocently bears the blame of others.
Family Scapegoats can certainly become narcissistic as they get older. Many family scapegoats experience immense rage due to their status in the family. What is this? They know their role is unfair, but they are powerless to this dynamic when they're young.
Without the common chaos of “dealing with the scapegoat,” the narcissist's partner may decide that enough is enough. In other words, a scapegoat going no-contact tends induce chaos. The family has become so used to pinpointing issues onto one person that they now feel completely off-guard.
When a scapegoat leaves their family of origin they are going to experience a lot of invalidation, devaluation, dehumanization, and chaos that is designed to manipulate them back into the abuse cycle and remain a repository for the family's negative emotions.