To narcissists, ordinary people (i.e., nearly everybody around them) aren't worthy of attention, so being ordinary would leave them unworthy of the spotlight and left to suffocate. Narcissists also need to feel special and superior to others. To a narcissist, being ordinary is the opposite of special.
Narcissists thrive on attention and praise. They usually want to be the center of attention and may do anything to get it. To make a narcissist fear you, you should avoid feeding their ego. Don't give them the attention or praise that they crave.
Type As can also be dangerous to narcissists
Although they can be targeted, type A people can also become a narcissist's worst nightmare. One of the most important defenses against dark personalities is having strong boundaries yourself, and type A people are usually aware they have the right to build them.
They Are Criticized. When a narcissist is criticized, their inflated sense of self is damaged. Any perceived negative feedback, even if offered in gentle or productive ways, can easily result in outbursts of narcissistic rage. A narcissist cannot tolerate threats to their massive egos and grandiose self-image.
Because vulnerable narcissists have unstable self-esteem, they are often prone to intense emotions such as anger, envy, shame, and resentment. They fear others realizing or pointing out their imperfections and will have strong reactions whenever this happens, or they perceive the threat of this happening.
#1 They Fear Rejection
Narcissists despise rejection, it destabilizes and invalidates them. They work exceptionally hard to keep up appearances; inwardly, they feel unlovable and inferior. Any form of rejection, whether professional, personal, or social, sends them on a warpath.
There's nothing a narcissist fears more than consequences.
Calmly lay out which specific behavior you want them to stop doing, and explain what will happen if they choose to ignore you. This is a threat to a narcissist's power, and it's sure to keep them on alert.
The most effective weapon to fend off a narcissist is self-love. Narcissists do not want to feel like you don't need them, that you are better off without them, and that you love yourself exactly as you are.
It is because of this that they may find it difficult to understand other people's feelings or perspectives, a self-centredness that can cause them to act selfishly and exploit others for their own gain. “As narcissists do not have empathy, they are not able to genuinely care or love you,” explains Davey.
Rejection, humiliation, and even the tiniest of defeats can shake them to their core. This leaves narcissists wholly focused on their image. They believe that how they are viewed by others, and how they view themselves, will shield them against realities of life that few of us like but most of us come to accept.
It comes hand-in-hand with this that narcissists hate being criticised or called out. Which is exactly why there's one word in particular narcissistic people cannot stand: "no".
Narcissists are attracted to certain types of people. Rather than weak, vulnerable people, they tend to go for the strong-willed and talented. They are also attracted to people who reflect well on themselves.
Don't accommodate them. If they need you to do something for them, even if it's small or no trouble at all — don't do it. Try to refuse them with the least amount of fuss possible. Know that the more you do for the narcissist, the worse it will get.
Rather than being sucked into the narcissist's toxic cycle, this person strategically deals with it. This person is the one who remains unbothered and keeps a safe distance from the narcissist. All of these threaten and terrorize the narcissist. For this reason, narcissists are intimidated by the silent observer type.
Mental health experts have observed that, sometimes, when a narcissistic person doesn't receive the external validation they believe they deserve, it can result in a high level of stress and hurt.
They like the idea of having their autonomy, but they can be quite begrudging when you indicate the desire to choose how you will be. Disruption, complexity, inclusion, and autonomy…these issues can bring out the crazy in narcissists. They can think: I must neutralize you.
Interestingly, the narcissist doesn't just fear to lose you because you make their world go round. They fear to lose you because you also make their world look good.
A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.
Narcissists can feel emotional pain, but not usually in the same way as others. The emotional pain they may feel is usually related to underlying selfish needs. Underneath the displays of superiority and sense of entitlement, they often feel empty, powerless, and shameful, which they perceive as weakness.
If you want to upset a narcissist, the easiest way to do it, is to start self-praising in front of them. Narcissists can't stand it when a target talks about their achievements and their talents.
5. Strong people. Narcissists hate strong people that are not afraid to set boundaries and let them know their behavior is not acceptable. Since they crave power and control and may use manipulation or other tactics to maintain it.