They may not trust anyone else to handle things the way they will. Controlling behaviors can also be a symptom of several personality disorders, such as histrionic p ersonality, borderline personality, and narcissistic personality.
A person with a “controlling personality” is driven by high levels of anxiety to feel safe. Though the need for control might be an unconscious feeling, the anxiety can create a strong desire to control surroundings and other people to keep a sense of order.
Controlling people are often inflexible and insist that everything needs to be their way. They often won't adapt and may not be open to others' suggestions or points of view.
In terms of personality-type theory, control freaks are very much the Type A personality, driven by the need to dominate and control. An obsessive need to control others is also associated with antisocial personality disorder.
Coercive control refers to a pattern of controlling behaviors that create an unequal power dynamic in a relationship. These behaviors give the perpetrator power over their partner, making it difficult for them to leave.
Controlling behaviors can also be a symptom of several personality disorders, such as histrionic p ersonality, borderline personality, and narcissistic personality. These disorders can only be diagnosed by a licensed health care professional.
Manipulative Behavior
Another common trait of narcissism is manipulative or controlling behavior.
The need for control, in extreme cases, stems from deeper psychological issues such as obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD), anxiety disorders or personality disorders. Control freaks are often perfectionists. They may manipulate or pressure others to change so as to avoid having to change themselves.
Set boundaries
“Many people in controlling relationships lose touch with their internal cues and learn to silence their internal voice,” said Dr. Anna Yam, a clinical psychologist. “The next step is assertively stating what you want and assertively saying 'no' when you are unwilling to do something.”
The behavior of people with borderline personality disorder is often interpreted as emotional manipulation. Indeed, when you love someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD), it can feel as if you are walking on eggshells, never knowing what might trigger them.
Being manipulated, used, or controlled by another person can lead to a number of harmful effects. Some may be so subtle, that you don't realize until you're cemented into a toxic, controlling relationship with your friend, coworker, or partner. Controlling people tend to prey on the kindest folks they can find.
Defensiveness, self-deprecation, and the silent treatment, are just a few signs of controlling behavior. And over time they can be quite damaging. Asking yourself Am I too controlling? from time to time is not a bad habit, as it helps keep you in check.
Controlling people aren't always self-centered, but they're not too empathetic either. Empathy for them tends to appear in the form of strategic concessions they use as a means to get what they want.
Manipulative tendencies may derive from cluster B personality disorders such as narcissistic or antisocial personality disorder. Manipulation is also correlated with higher levels of emotional intelligence, and is a chief component of the personality construct dubbed Machiavellianism.
A person might be bossy by constantly finding fault and criticizing others in an effort to change them. Another kind of Bossy could be the expert at “delegating” (ie, sitting back and giving orders while others do the work). Redefine Bossy to make it work in a new way. Traditionally, villains and mentors are bossy.
It may be possible for a controlling person to change their behavior over time with psychotherapy if a relationship is unhealthy and not abusive. However, if a relationship involves abuse, a person's behavior could escalate to physical violence.
Ignore and walk away.
Indulging their historical revisionism will only increase the humiliation as the victim responds defensively. Stepping aside politely and quietly will highlight the dysfunctional behavior for anyone else who might be around.
A controlling person is someone who attempts to maintain control, authority, and/or decision-making power over other people and situations. Controlling behavior can include everything from directly telling someone what they can or cannot do to more discreet methods like guilt-tripping, gaslighting, possessiveness.
Or constructive criticism disguised as trying to help others? In all honesty, control freaks do not even know that they are being that way. They tend to ignore their irrational thoughts or tackling their insecurities.
Albers says fear is often a motivator in their desire to control. Anxiety is another reason for their behavior. “People who have control issues experience a lot of anxiety. They try to control things to reduce their anxiety level.
Most control freaks believe they know what is best for everyone and they try to convince other people to do things differently. Whether they lecture, become aggressive, or manipulate things behind the scenes, they want to make other people act a certain way.
People can develop controlling issues beginning in childhood. Controlling behaviors can develop as a coping response to distressing situations as a way to cope or as a learned response to the environment. People with anxiety tend to feel like they do not have control over many things in their lives.
Don't try to control a control freak.
Judith Orloff advises, "Be healthily assertive rather than controlling. Stay confident and refuse to play the victim. Most important, always take a consistent, targeted approach." Control freaks love a good power struggle; playing into it never ends well.
They tend to want to be the best and seem the happiest at the expense of another person's well-being. You might notice that they use detrimental behavior to devalue the happy people around them. This is likely because they want to stand out and do what they can to gain higher status and make others unhappy.