“It's an insult that is poorly disguised as a compliment, oftentimes rooted in the insecurities of the person delivering it.” Not all backhanded compliments are mean-spirited, some rude comments are even said out of ignorance.
: indirect, devious. especially : sarcastic. a backhanded compliment. : using or made with a backhand.
“You Look So Great In That Photo. I Can't Even See Your Acne!” Why it's backhanded: The nice compliment is immediately weighed down by the acne comment. They're basically saying you typically have a flaw, but in this photo, you only look great because that flaw is removed.
Unkind, cruel & unfeeling.
Negging (derived from the verb neg, meaning "negative feedback") is an act of emotional manipulation whereby a person makes a deliberate backhanded compliment or otherwise flirtatious remark to another person to undermine their confidence and increase their need of the manipulator's approval.
/ˌbækˈhæn.dɪd/ A backhanded remark seems pleasant but may really be a criticism or mean something unkind: a backhanded compliment. SMART Vocabulary: related words and phrases.
The Danger of Belittling
And, if the belittler accuses you of being too sensitive, causing you to question your own account of what happened, this is not just belittling, but another form of emotional abuse called gaslighting.
oblique or ambiguous in meaning; indirect; insincere or malicious; wry: backhanded methods; a backhanded compliment.
noun. : a compliment that implies it is not really a compliment at all. She paid me a backhanded compliment when she said my work was "surprisingly good."
A backhanded compliment is a remark which seems to be an insult but could also be understood as a compliment. A backhanded compliment is also a remark which seems to be a compliment but could also be understood as an insult.
Examples of indirect verbal insults are jokes, ironic comments, backhanded compliments, mimicry, and false fascination.
Backhanded compliments oftentimes are the intersection of passive aggression and jealousy. Sometimes known as “non-compliments” or “disguised insults” these statements are actually subtle insults intended to ultimately put down the person being addressed, without seeming directly mean spirited.
Gaslighters/Narcissists: Masters of the Compliment-Insult, or "Complisult."
Stylistically, in English, double negatives can sometimes be used for affirmation (e.g. "I'm not feeling unwell"), an understatement of the positive ("I'm feeling well"). The rhetorical term for this is litotes.
The adjective offhand describes a remark or comment that is made without previous thought or preparation. If you are at a wedding, you may want to make a few offhand but nice remarks about the newlyweds. As an adjective, offhand can mean careless, brusque, or inconsiderate.
Condescension is rude and patronizing. Treating someone with condescension is the opposite of treating them with respect. Condescension is full of arrogant and snooty attitude, and people who practice condescension treat others like inferior idiots.
demanding, derogatory, disgraceful, humiliating, defamatory, degrading, disparaging, sarcastic, slanderous, unflattering, embarrassing, humbling, cheapening, downgrading, lowering, disgracing, base, boring, common, humdrum.
Such a person might be called derisive or scornful.
A slur is an insulting remark.