: a person's lover that no one else knows about.
A paramour is a lover, and often a secret one you're not married to. So it's best not to kiss and make eyes at your paramour in public, unless you want to be the center of a lot of gossip.
For some, secrecy in love is a preference. I've had clients who actively sought secret relationships because they enabled them to keep lovers at arm's length, outside their emotional sphere, lowering the risk of (more) pain if it ended. But for most who get into clandestine relationships, it becomes a burden.
Keeping a relationship secret can be hard on the emotions of both partners involved. It can be tough to keep up the secrecy and it may cause feelings of guilt and fear about being caught. The constant worry of being found out can be exhausting emotionally, which can put a strain on the relationship.
Treat your secret lover like everyone else while you're in public. Don't flirt or look like you want to be with them while you're in public. People will become suspicious that there's something going on, and the gossip mill will start. Treat your secret lover like another random person out there.
Too much secrecy can be a red flag because the actions being kept secret can often be dangerous, illegal, disloyal, and/or abusive.
Infidelity has become so common that some studies indicate that 20% to 40% of heterosexual married men and 20% to 25% of heterosexual married women will engage in an extramarital affair at some point in their lives.
Study 1 found that greater secrecy was associated with reduced commitment to one's relationship, lower self-esteem, and more reported health symptoms.
It can make you feel bad about yourself
Just as it affects your wellbeing, psychologists say keeping a secret love affair can make you question your self worth. You get paranoid, insecure and most times fearful, which could further lead to separation from those who care deeply about you.
There is a difference between keeping your relationship private and keeping it a secret. Keeping your relationship a secret can lead to feelings of anxiety and isolation. If your partner is pressuring you to keep your relationship secret, it may be a sign that you are in an unhealthy relationship.
The workplace. The workplace is where most affairs begin. It doesn't hurt that we usually dress nicely and are on “good behavior” at work. Plus, having shared passions about projects (or mutual annoyance at a boss or co-worker) provides the perfect breeding ground for an affair.
Male equivalent
"Paramour" is sometimes used, but this term can apply to either partner in an illicit relationship, so it is not exclusively male. If the man is being financially supported, especially by a wealthy older woman, he is a "sugar baby", "kept man" or "toyboy".
On this page you'll find 11 synonyms, antonyms, and words related to illicit love affair, such as: affaire, amour, fling, goings-on, hanky-panky, and liaison.
Meaning of secret admirer in English
a person who likes another person but does not say so: Who sent you those flowers - do you have a secret admirer? SMART Vocabulary: related words and phrases.
Women in their 60s report the highest rate of infidelity (16%), but the share goes down sharply among women in their 70s and 80s. By comparison, the infidelity rate among men in their 70s is the highest (26%), and it remains high among men ages 80 and older (24%).
How long extramarital affairs last varies: about 50% may last between the period of one month to a year affair, long term affairs may last long-term, for about 15 months or more, and about 30% of affairs last about two years and beyond. Some even last for a lifetime.
Yes, it is possible for someone to fall in love with an affair partner, although it can be a complicated and emotionally fraught experience. These relationships have trust issues due to how they began.
He is manipulative.
Manipulative behavior is a major red flag in men because it implies that they are trying to control you. Manipulation typically involves someone exploiting someone else's feelings or insecurities to get what they want. They might do this by making someone feel guilty or ashamed.
1. Overly controlling behavior. Overly controlling behavior is a common red flag in relationships. People that try to control your movements, decisions, or beliefs are more concerned about what they want than what is best for you.
In a healthy relationship, there is no reason to hide. When you keep something secret, it usually means you are afraid of someone finding out, or are embarrassed or ashamed about it, or both. This can make YOU feel like you are unworthy of being his public girlfriend.
He spends a lot of time with you
If a guy secretly has a crush on you, then no doubt he'll constantly be looking for ways to see you and spend more time with you. They will often come up to talk to you, text or message you a lot, and invite you to hang out or do things with them.
When a man keeps his feelings secret from you, he may act nervously, such as playing with his fingers or running his fingers through his hair. So, if you notice him being jittery around you, even shaking slightly, or having difficulty talking to you, it's likely that he secretly likes you and is trying to hide it.