As the study mentioned above indicates, many people experience the “peak” of grief at about 4-6 months. It is not unusual to feel better in some ways at 6-8 weeks as you come to terms with the new reality, but also still feel very intense emotions over the next several months as you continue to process.
Depression is usually the longest and most difficult stage of grief. Ironically, what brings us out of our depression is finally allowing ourselves to experience our very deepest sadness. We come to the place where we accept the loss, make some meaning of it for our lives and are able to move on.
Depression
This is the longest stage because people can linger in it for months, if not years. Depression can cause feelings of helplessness, sadness, and lack of enthusiasm.
However, while normal grief symptoms gradually start to fade over time, those of complicated grief linger or get worse. Complicated grief is like being in an ongoing, heightened state of mourning that keeps you from healing.
It's common for the grief process to take a year or longer. A grieving person must resolve the emotional and life changes that come with the death of a loved one. The pain may become less intense, but it's normal to feel emotionally involved with the deceased for many years.
People can worry that their feelings are so overwhelming that they don't know how they can live with them. But over time feelings of grief tend to become less intense and people find a way to live with them.
When you lose someone close to you, that grief never fully goes away—but you do learn to cope with it over time. Several effective coping techniques include talking with loved ones about your pain, remembering all of the good in your life, engaging in your favorite activities, and consulting with a grief counselor.
The reality is that sleep can be a brief reprieve from the pain of grief (heck, that's why some of us start sleeping too much after a devastating loss – avoidance sure feels good sometimes). Mornings mean waking up to that brief, disoriented moment where you think your old life still exists.
Your brain is on overload with thoughts of grief, sadness, loneliness and many other feelings. Grief Brain affects your memory, concentration, and cognition. Your brain is focused on the feelings and symptoms of grief which leaves little room for your everyday tasks. and recognize it as a step towards healing.
It is completely normal to feel profoundly sad for more than a year, and sometimes many years, after a person you love has died. Don't put pressure on yourself to feel better or move on because other people think you should. Be compassionate with yourself and take the space and time you need to grieve.
Depression: Sadness sets in as you begin to understand the loss and its effect on your life. Signs of depression include crying, sleep issues, and a decreased appetite. You may feel overwhelmed, regretful, and lonely. Acceptance: In this final stage of grief, you accept the reality of your loss.
Bargaining is usually the third stage in grieving, and it is often the shortest. During this time, a person may try to find meaning in the loss and reach out to others to discuss it.
Shock and Numbness: This phase immediately follows a loss to death. In order to emotionally survive the initial shock of the loss, the grieving person feels numb and shut down. Yearning and Searching: This phase is characterized by a variety of feelings, including sadness, anger, anxiety, and confusion.
Practice the three C's
As you build a plan, consider the “three Cs”: choose, connect, communicate. Choose: Choose what's best for you. Even during dark bouts of grief, you still possess the dignity of choice.
Delayed grief is an experience of feeling deep sorrow, long after experiencing the death of someone you are close with. It is when our emotional reaction to loss doesn't happen right away. Somehow the reaction is postponed.
Grief has both significant and quantifiable mental and physical effects on the body. In addition to psychological symptoms of depression and anxiety, grief can cause sleep problems, chest pain, and gastrointestinal issues. In some cases, grief can increase the risk of heart attack and suicide.
Personality changes like being more irritable, less patient, or no longer having the tolerance for other people's “small” problems. Forgetfulness, trouble concentrating and focusing. Becoming more isolated, either by choice or circumstances. Feeling like an outcast.
“The sympathetic nervous system,” Anolik adds, "triggers the so-called 'fight-or-flight' response, which can lead to dull, dry skin without the same resilience or elasticity, more visible lines, pink blotches, possibly even sagging if the time period of grief is extended." Lack of sleep may also reduce your skin's ...
Sleep, or lack of it, is a common complaint of grief. People who have more grief symptoms are more likely to take longer to fall asleep, wake up for periods of time after falling asleep, and spend a significant portion of their time in bed awake rather than asleep.
Walking with others helps ease feelings of loneliness and counters the tendency to withdraw socially — a common response to loss that may contribute to complicated grief or full-on depression in certain individuals.
After someone dies, it's normal to see or hear them. Some people also reporting sensing the smell or warmth of someone close to them, or just feel a very strong sense of their presence. Sometimes these feelings can be very powerful.
Sometimes grief lasts a lifetime. It comes and goes and takes different shapes and it filters into different areas of your life. It goes to sleep for a while and then sometimes it returns after years of being gone. Sometimes we are grieving for only moments and sometimes we grieve for days and months.
Taking care of yourself is one of the best things you can do to keep healthy and move through this difficult time. Grief will get worse before it gets better. Often the hardest times comes four to six months after a loss.