Each child is different, but most children need to be given clear rules about behavior. Discipline needs to start as soon as a child is pulling up and crawling. Infants rely on their parents to provide a safe environment. Discipline should be adjusted by the age of your child.
Discipline at 8 to 12 Months
Experts say this is the best way to help your child stay out of trouble and makes it a lot easier to follow the rules. Of course, many of us merely say no when we catch our little ones getting into mischief.
3 year old's need discipline that is consistent, but also patient and firm. They need gentle reminders, big hugs, clear instructions, the time to do it right, and forgiveness when they make mistakes. As their parents we have the power to give this to them, and to the best of our ability we should.
5-Year-Old Discipline Tactics
A 5-year-old grasps concrete consequences, and they're challenged to act according to their emerging sense of conscience. They're learning to put themselves in someone else's shoes. A 5-year-old is mature enough to follow rules and do some chores, but they may push the limits to test you.
Acceptable means of discipline include withdrawal or delay of privileges, consequences and time-out. Example: The child destroys toys. Instead of replacing these toys, let the child learn the logical consequences. Destroying toys will result in no toys to play with.
Sure, bad behavior takes a huge upswing as kids get older, especially as they learn to communicate and function more independently. But they learn how to behave throughout all of childhood—not just within the first three years. So, if you find yourself wondering how to discipline a 4 year old, you're not alone.
Children are able to begin understanding consequences around age 6 and are much better at it around age 13. Parents and caregivers need to adjust their expectations accordingly.
It is very typical for a child who is 2 or 3 years old to start hitting or biting to express frustration or to get something they want. Toddlers have more motor control than infants, but don't yet have a lot of language to communicate what they need or want. Frustration is normal and to be expected.
Save them for serious misdeeds — unsafe or aggressive behaviors like running into the street, hitting or biting. Don't scold, lecture or argue when giving a time-out. Use a calm, firm voice. Find a safe, but boring space — a hard-backed kitchen chair facing a wall or a corner of the hallway make great time-out spots.
Acknowledge the feelings behind your child's behaviour. For example 'I know you're upset because Taito took your truck. But that doesn't mean you can hit him'. Use consequences like time out or quiet time or loss of privilege to help your child learn to avoid behaviour that isn't OK.
The Do's of Disciplining a Child Who Won't Listen
Use consistent, logical consequences. Kids need to know what to expect when they don't listen. Listen to your child's feelings and ask them kindly rather than in anger what's going on. Acknowledge their side, and you can still follow through with a consequence.
They will be willful, selfish, and generally unpleasant company. They will lack self-control. They will not have social skills that are important for making friends such as empathy, patience, and knowing how to share. They will not know what is appropriate behavior.
Despite these issues, evidence from various research approaches and methods consistently links physical punishment with harm to children. Good evidence suggests that physical punishment does not reduce defiant or aggressive behaviour nor does it promote long-term positive behaviour in children.
Toddlers (3 years)
“Put them in a location away from everyone and everything else going on; however, if they won't stay in that spot, just ignore them and don't worry – the most important aspect of a timeout is breaking the cycle of the behavior, not where they spend it,” says Arquette.
“Around ages 5 to 7 is when kids truly start to understand the consequences of their actions,” says Brownrigg. “So if a 3-year-old hits someone with a toy, I might take it away and give them a time-out to calm them down. But I won't tell them to think about what they did, because they can't understand that.
Consequences are an effective way to help your preschooler learn appropriate behavior and consider the impact of his behavior on others, while still preserving your relationship with him.
Use Time-Out or Time-In
It also gives kids a chance to calm down so they can be perceptive when you address the behavior with them. In general, kids need about a minute per year old they are for time out to be effective. So, a 3-year-old can sit for three minutes while a 4-year-old may need four minutes.