People with a fearful avoidant attachment style have low self-esteem and elevated anxiety. They will be extremely hard on themselves and think that their inability to form close bonds is due to their own worthlessness or unattractiveness.
Known as disorganized attachment style in adulthood, the fearful avoidant attachment style is thought to be the most difficult. Sadly, this insecure attachment style is often seen in children that have experienced trauma or abuse.
Because individuals with an fearful avoidant attachment style often have low self-esteem and a fear of relationships, therapy can be a good way to help these individuals be more confident and learn to trust again.
Secure attachment predicted elevated self-esteem and decreased depressive symptoms. Ambivalent attachment predicted lowered self-esteem and increased depressive symptoms. Avoidant attachment style predicted increased depressive symptoms. Self-esteem predicted depressive symptoms.
Thus, it's more likely that narcissists are high in avoidant attachment, which we'll discuss in the next section. Vulnerable narcissists' self-esteem is quite fragile and although they seek the approval of others, they experience strong anxiety as a result of relationships and, thus, tend to avoid them.
People with an avoidant attachment style can come across as selfish, appearing to put their own needs in front of their partner's needs. When their partner expresses feelings or needs, they might show annoyance or disdain.
Insecure-avoidant (also known as Type A) is an attachment pattern identified by Ainsworth using the Strange Situation. This attachment type is willing to explore but does not seek proximity to the caregiver.
Avoidant people may not realize how much their communication is avoidant as they may consciously want to have a companion.
Avoidant-attachment style personalities aren't emotionally mature enough to tell their partner the truth about how they feel, so they disappear when they become threatened with feeling vulnerable or close to someone.
In truth, the disorganized attachment style is considered to be the most difficult form of insecure attachment to manage – disorganized adults strongly desire love and acceptance but simultaneously fear that those closest to them will hurt them.
Some studies showed that differences in attachment styles seem to influence both the frequency and the patterns of jealousy expression: individuals with the preoccupied or fearful-avoidant attachment styles more often become jealous and consider rivals as more threatening than those with the secure attachment style [9, ...
Anxious-avoidant attachment types (also known as the “fearful or disorganized type”) bring together the worst of both worlds. Anxious-avoidants are not only afraid of intimacy and commitment, but they distrust and lash out emotionally at anyone who tries to get close to them.
They do have similarities, but there are also differences that have an impact on the relationship. As a general statement, all narcissists are love avoidant, but people can be love avoidant and not be narcissists.
Because of this emotional distancing, they tend to be less empathic toward people in need (Joireman, Needham, & Cummings, 2001; Wayment, 2006). Further, avoidant people tend to respond negatively to their partner's emotions because those emotions can signal that they need more attention and intimacy.
Because people with an avoidant attachment style fear not being lovable or good enough, feeling criticized or judged by loved ones can be particularly painful. Especially when it comes to things that they are not so comfortable with, such as their emotions and feelings.
Avoidant partners tend to create distance and have trouble with communication in romantic relationships. This can make their partners feel frustrated, hurt, confused, or abandoned. Relationships of any kind take work and compromise — and having an avoidant partner can bring a specific set of challenges.
The individual must be willing to be emotionally vulnerable as they are trying to make amends and seek forgiveness. They must be empathetic and able to prioritize the needs of the other person. According to Schumann and Orehek, avoidant individuals were less likely to offer a comprehensive apology.
Avoidant partners may fail to acknowledge your feelings or rarely express their own emotions. They may not know how to handle emotional conversations or issues. If you have an emotional response, they may tell you it makes no sense or try to reason you out of your feelings. They may call you too sensitive.
Being with someone who has an avoidant attachment style can be quite difficult because while you're trying to get emotionally close to them and build connection, they keep pulling back- and they may make their significant other begin to feel like they are the “crazy one.” As mentioned above, it is even more difficult ...
Adults with an avoidant-dismissive insecure attachment style are the opposite of those who are ambivalent or anxious-preoccupied. Instead of craving intimacy, they're so wary of closeness they try to avoid emotional connection with others. They'd rather not rely on others, or have others rely on them.
The most difficult type of insecure attachment is the disorganized attachment style.
Avoidant Attachment: less likely to fall in love and more likely to engage in casual sex. Adults with an avoidant attachment style typically have a deactivated attachment system. Avoidant individuals do not seek proximity and intimacy, avoid the display of emotions, and appear distant and cold.
Which Attachment Style Is Most Manipulative? On the more extreme end of anxious attachment, a person may be more likely to become emotionally manipulative because they will go through as much as they can to make sure an attachment figure doesn't leave them.
Love Avoidants recognize and are attracted to the Love Addict's strong fear of being left because Love Avoidants know that all they have to do to trigger their partner's fear is threaten to leave.