You can go the "traditional" route and list your "maiden" name first, or you could choose to list your new last name first, followed by your original last name. Some couples decide to have both partners change to the hyphenated last name, as a show of unity and equality.
It's your choice which name comes first. Hyphenating your last name is considered a legal name change – meaning you can't drop your spouse's name or the hyphen in the future without having to go through a court-ordered name change.
Typical protocol says that prior to the wedding day (on Save the Dates, Invitations, etc.) the bride's name should precede the groom's. And after the wedding day (on Thank You cards, Address Labels, etc.) that the groom's name precedes his new wife.
Sometimes, simple acts such as paying attention to hyphenated names will go a long way. Here is a simple trick. To be safe, refer to that person by their whole surname, Dávila-Montero in my case. Within Hispanic communities, it is also common to just refer to a person by their first surname, Dávila in my case.
In most states, you have the option to take your spouse's last name, hyphenate your last name, use two last names without a hyphen, or move your maiden name to your middle name and take your spouse's last name. We think it's important that you know all of the name change options before your big day.
Addressing a Couple
NOTE: Traditionally, a woman's name preceded a man's on an envelope address, and his first and surname were not separated (Jane and John Kelly). Nowadays, the order of the names—whether his name or hers comes first—does not matter and either way is acceptable.
A double name can be formed when marrying or getting children, combining the surnames of the spouses or the parents, respectively. Double names can be combined by taking one part of each. Either spouse or both can take a double name.
You can go the "traditional" route and list your "maiden" name first, or you could choose to list your new last name first, followed by your original last name. Some couples decide to have both partners change to the hyphenated last name, as a show of unity and equality.
Traditionally, the first surname is paternal and comes from the father, while the second surname is maternal and comes from the mother. In recent years, some countries have allowed parents to alter the order of surnames for their children, but in historical records paternal surnames generally precede maternal names.
For a heterosexual couple, use "Mr." and "Mrs." and spell out the husband's first and last name. For a same-sex couple, either name can go first.
She may elect to retain her own surname or she may adopt the surname of her husband. The choice is hers.
One's 'first name', known as a 'personal name' or 'given name', is chosen at birth as the individual's personal identifier. It always comes before the family name. The 'family name', known as a 'surname' or 'last name', is inherited from one's parents and shared with other members of the individual's immediate family .
This change in women's identity, by taking a husband's name, has emerged from patriarchal history where wives had no surname except “wife of X”. The wife was the husband's possession and right up to the late 19th-century, women in England ceded all property and parental rights to husbands on marriage.
Use "Mr. and Mrs. [His First Name Last Name]" for a traditional approach. Although the rules of etiquette are quickly changing, traditionally couples are addressed using the husband's name.
Married Couples: Formal
Traditionally for married couples, you include the male's first and last name (i.e. Mr. and Mrs. Kenneth Arendt). It's likely the most familiar and the most common way to address envelopes.
The convention is to write the first name followed by middle names and surname. It is common to use the father's first name as the middle name or last name even though it is not universal. In some Indian states like Maharashtra, official documents list the family name first, followed by a comma and the given names.
This concept parallels to any other system that needs to catalog people. Physical documents will be filed away, again by last name, however when retrieving the document it's also much more natural for the eye to gravitate to the upper-left corner of the page, which by design, is the last name.
Whatever the case, when forms were strictly paper, the same form that someone filled out is the same physical form a clerk would file, retrieve, and sort. Thus, I speculate, the last name appeared first at the top of the form in order to facilitate the clerk's work. It's “clerk-centered design.”
Outside of the traditional, formal “Mr. & Mrs. John Doe”, the wife's name is ALWAYS first when using first names: “Jane and John Doe” (1). In social importance, the woman is always first, then males, then children.
“There's this implicit understanding that having the father's last name is inherently in the child's best interest,” she said, citing cases where judges argued that taking the father's surname would deepen the family relationship or provide children with more financial security later in life.
Baby gets the dad's/partner's name
Pros: The default choice in the United States is to give your child the last name of their father. This tradition is practiced by parents in a variety of situations – including heterosexual couples, same-sex couples, couples who adopt, and couples who choose not to marry.
You can choose to take a joint surname which is a combination of both of your surnames. For instance, if Jane Citizen married John Smith you can take the surname Citizen-Smith or Smith-Citizen. It's your choice whether to use a hyphen or space between the surnames and in which order the names should appear.