For someone with BPD, the favorite person is deemed the most important person in their life. This person can be anyone, but it's often a romantic partner, family member, good friend, or another supportive person (like a coach, therapist, or teacher).
Favorite person in the borderline personality disorder community. FP has a unique meaning in the BPD community. A FP is a person who someone with BPD relies heavily on for emotional support, seeks attention and validation from, and looks up to or idealizes.
“People with BPD often find themselves placing their attention on one specific person. This person may be a friend, family member, or romantic partner. A favorite person frequently is expected (consciously or otherwise) to help resolve unmet needs for the person with BPD.”
Of the 1.4% of adults in the United States2 living with BPD, a common thread that runs through them is a special connection to a person in their lives. This individual is often described as their 'favorite person,' and may be anyone from a teacher, to a best friend, or even a family member.
Conclusions: Parental externalizing psychopathology and father's BPD traits contribute genetic risk for offspring BPD traits, but mothers' BPD traits and parents' poor parenting constitute environmental risks for the development of these offspring traits.
Suboptimal parenting factors, which have been prospectively linked to personality disorders and BPD features, included hostility, resentment, and hitting/shouting.
No single cause triggers a psychiatric illness, but genes play a bigger role than you may think. One strong predictor of the disorder is family history. In fact, having a first-degree relative (parent, sibling, child) with BPD puts you at a 5 times greater risk of developing it yourself, according to NAMI.
However, if the favorite person does something that the individual perceives as abandonment or rejection, they may feel overwhelmed by negative emotions, such as anger, sadness, or anxiety. These emotions can be all-consuming, leading to suicidal ideation, self-harm, or impulsive behavior.
Many people with BPD also have gifts of being highly intuitive, passionate, empathic, and creative. Through healing, someone who has had BPD can still reach their potential as a uniquely gifted parent. However, not everyone has the support and resources they need to grow and heal.
A BPD mother's symptoms will affect how she interacts with her children. Mothers with BPD can seem unloving, withholding, and negative. Their behavior may be unpredictable and their children may feel like they have to “walk on eggshells” to prevent their mothers from having mood swings.
Another hallmark of borderline personality disorder is having a favorite person—usually a family member, romantic partner, or someone in a supportive role, such as a teacher or coach. For someone with this type of BPD relationship, a “favorite person” is someone they rely on for comfort, happiness, and validation.
“People with BPD lie often, but it is not because they are pathological liars,” says Nikki Instone, Ph. D. “Lying is not a symptom of the disorder so much as a consequence of their internal battle.” Lying is really rooted in emotional dysregulation, which is one of the main symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder.
Those who have BPD tend to be very intense, dramatic, and exciting. This means they tend to attract others who are depressed and/or suffering low self-esteem.
In the case of the “favorite person,” the individual with BPD prefers one person and wants to spend all their time with them. Unfortunately, if that person is busy—or if conflict emerges—anger and fear of abandonment often become triggered. Find a supportive therapist that can help with BPD.
Empathy and compassion – People with BPD experience greater internal and external turmoil. However, this in turn allows for the ability to recognise and have greater insight for others in similar situations.
2 It's a way of coping with anxiety in which an object or person of ambivalence is viewed as perfect, or as having exaggerated positive qualities. Idealization reduces anxiety by protecting the person from emotional conflicts that might emerge in a relationship.
These effects often emerge early. Researchers have found that even young children with mothers suffering from BPD display “a shameful and incongruent sense of self,” heightened fear of abandonment, and difficulties creating stable relationships.
Mothers with BPD may find it difficult to balance appropriate limit setting with the encouragement of exploration and growth for their children. It may also be that mothers with BPD find it difficult to adjust their parenting strategies to match the developmental needs of their children.
In cases where both mother and daughter have BPD, their relationship can become particularly volatile. Their mutual emotional instability and fear of abandonment can lead to frequent clashes and misunderstandings, creating a tense and difficult home environment.
The effects of untreated borderline personality disorder (BPD) can be devastating. For example, the physical and mental health impact of this disorder is so severe that life expectancy among people who have BPD is about 20 years less than the national average.
So, what exactly does the BPD break up cycle look like? It can look like fear of abandonment, distrust of a partner, cheating, lack of communication and self-blame. It can look like idolizing a partner, confusing strong emotions for passion, anxiety and overreacting to interactions perceived as negative.
Emotional reactions, such as sadness, shock and disbelief, anger or resentment (including anger that the person has abandoned you), feelings of helplessness or hopelessness, panic, irritability, denial, relief, guilt (including guilt that you survived or that you could not save the person who died), feeling you do not ...
A mother with BPD may fluctuate between periods of being very intrusive to becoming very withdrawn. She may have had times when she was far too nosy about everything you did, who you spoke to, and what you did throughout the day when she was not around.
According to the DSM-5, BPD can be diagnosed as early as at 12 years old if symptoms persist for at least one year. However, most diagnoses are made during late adolescence or early adulthood.
One study examined how reciprocal influences among harsh parenting, self-control, and negative emotionality between the ages of 5 and 14 years predicted the development of BPD symptoms in adolescent girls aged 14–17 years and found a positive co-relation between them [13].