Widows have a 29.2 percent chance of living longer than the widowers, once seventeen years has passed since their spouses died. The outliers for the female dying first indicate that two men lived for 34 years after their wives.
Catholic women lived 11 years after the death of their spouse, while Jewish women lived 9.5 years after the deaths of their husbands. Similarly, the Jewish men lived 5 years after the death of the wives, while the Catholic men lived about 8 years after the death of their wives.
One of the statistics Keogh cites is how within two years of becoming a widower, 61% of widowed men find themselves in a serious relationship or had remarried compared to only 19% of widows. Keogh writes, “widowers are eight times more likely to remarry over their lifetimes vs. widows.” Remarkable!
A 2014 study published in the Journal of Public Health found that people whose spouses had just died had a 66% increased chance of dying within the first three months following their spouse's death. 2 Prior studies had placed the increased chances of death for the surviving spouse even higher, at up to 90%.
Overall rates of remarriage are much lower after bereavement than divorce: 5% of women and 12% of bereaved men remarry, compared to 69% and 78% of divorced women and men, respectively[v]. Interestingly, widowed people often marry other widows, with 45% or bereaved men and 42% of bereaved women doing so[vi].
The average age of widowhood in the U.S. is just 59, and pre-retirees who are widowed face unique challenges. There are 11.8 million widows in the U.S. and approximately 2,800 new widows are joining these ranks every day.
It's true that some widowed people do move on too fast, because they're in denial and don't want to face pain; such relationships often bear a cost. Still, even for those not in denial, finding a connection remains a huge human urge.
This effect has even been documented by researchers. A 2013 study that appeared in the Journal of Public Health showed that people had a 66% higher risk of dying within the first 90 days of losing their spouse. This discovery held true for both men and women.
One of the first steps in combating loneliness is being around others who share some of the same interests as you. Try your best to pull yourself out of your grief enough to volunteer a weekend or two each month at a local charity or food bank to help those in need.
Step 1: Take care of immediate things
In addition to managing your grief, you will have to handle certain affairs immediately. Notifying family members, loved ones and family advisers will likely be one of the first things you must do. Decisions about organ donation and funeral arrangements will be the hardest.
It's common for the grief process to take a year or longer. A grieving person must resolve the emotional and life changes that come with the death of a loved one. The pain may become less intense, but it's normal to feel emotionally involved with the deceased for many years.
Dating again after the death of a spouse can be an awkward experience. It can bring out feelings of guilt or betrayal in the widow or widower. It can also bring out feelings of confusion and concern from friends, family, and those who were close to the deceased spouse.
Many widows who choose to remain single have had long and happy marriages and enjoy male companionship. They recognize that their ability to choose the single life rests on two essential points: financial independence and the ability and willingness to live life as an individual, rather than as one of a pair.
A recent large epidemiological study from the US indicated an 18% increased risk of death for widowers compared to non-widowers over a period of 9 years [30].
What challenges does widowhood bring? As widows move through their own experiences of grief, loss, or trauma after the death of a spouse, they may also face economic insecurity, discrimination, stigmatization, and harmful traditional practices on the basis of their marital status.
The increased likelihood for a recently widowed person to die—often called the “widowhood effect”—is one of the best documented examples of the effect of social relations on health.
What they're looking for is companionship. Widowers who seek companionship want a woman to do one thing: fill the gaping hole in their hearts. They believe that by having someone—anyone—in their life, their hearts will be healed and the empty feeling that consumes them will vanish.
Often setting some routines for yourself can help. A day to shop, a day to do the finances, a day to do the cleaning, a day to wash the car and do the gardening. But it is important not to spend too much time alone. Make time to get out and meet family and friends.
Traumatic grief
Losing a loved one in a horrible, unexpected way (such as due to violence) can result in heightened emotional responses. The distress from traumatic grief may cause someone to be unable to function as usual.
Grief beyond six months, the researchers said, can be considered a diagnostic criterion for prolonged grief disorder, which would indicate the need for evaluation for psychiatric complications of bereavement, such as major depressive disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder.
Widow's Fire: The burning desire for sex following bereavement of a spouse or partner. It's time to talk openly about other realities o. Sex, intimacy & dating! Health & wellness website.
The Lord watches over the foreigner and sustains the fatherless and the widow. He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. My comfort in my suffering is this; Your promise preserves my life. Sustain me, my God, according to your promise, and I will live; do not let my hopes be dashed.
What percentage of widows and widowers remarry? Most widows and widowers get into a new relationship within ten years of the loss of their spouse. Statistics show that approximately 29% of widowers and 7% of widows get into a new union within a decade.
There is no rule that says you cannot wear your wedding ring after your spouse is deceased. If you feel more comfortable wearing it, then wear it. However, you may want to consider taking it off to fully move on with life. Your ring may serve as a reminder of your husband and your relationship.