The traditional wedding speech order goes father of the bride, groom, best man and other toasts. "In same-sex weddings, it is also common for both partners to speak but sometimes only one does," explains Marc. If you're having an LGBTQ+ wedding, you can decide on an order that works best for you.
You can do whatever works for you with your wedding speeches, but the traditional order of wedding speeches is as follows: father of the bride, groom, best man and then other toasts. It's becoming increasingly popular for brides and maids of honour to make speeches too!
1. The best man. You might think that being best man is all about planning a raucous bachelor party and not much else, but this job does have a few best man duties to prepare for, most important being the best man speech. And when it comes to the wedding speech order, the best man usually goes first.
Wedding receptions often have a Master of Ceremonies (MC) to keep the day running smoothly. This role is sometimes handed to the best man, or another close friend of the groom. The role of MC is simple. It requires you to make a few announcements loudly and clearly as the day progresses.
Who Gives a Wedding Toast? Tradition dictates that the best man is the master of ceremonies at a wedding reception and kicks off the toasts. This is a great point to keep in mind when selecting a best man—in addition to his ability to plan a stellar bachelor party, of course.
Traditionally, there's a father of the groom speech, as well. You'll want to keep your toast short and sweet, but be sure to tell your son how much you love them, address their new spouse, thank everyone for coming to the wedding, and offer some parting wisdom or advice for the newlyweds.
This first toast is most often made by the parents (or father) of the bride and should combine both a toast to the happy couple and a welcome message to the guests. If you would like the parents of the groom to speak, they should do so following the parents of the bride.
Tradition or no tradition, the best man's speech tends to go last, following the speech of the bridesmaids and/or maid of honour.
While this speech has traditionally been given at rehearsal dinners, it's not unusual for the mother of the groom to speak at the wedding reception, either. If you're struggling to put words on paper to express the joy, happiness, and love you have for your son, you're not alone.
Traditionally the wedding speeches are made after the main course and before dessert. However, these days it is becoming more common for couples to bring them forward to the beginning of the meal.
While many experts will tell you to keep your talk to 3 minutes or less, Chertoff says the best wedding speeches usually last three to five minutes.
From a performer's perspective the best time for wedding speeches will be at the end of the meal. (Just as an aside, if you'd like to have your crowd properly warmed up before the speeches, check out my Wedding Emcee page. All the best performers use a warm-up man!)
Toasts can be after all two or three courses of the meal, or after one of the courses. Toasts can be before or after the cutting of the cake, depending when you cut the cake. At Craig y Nos Castle, toasts are normally done at some point during the Wedding Breakfast, not at the Evening Party.
Wedding Recessional Order at Christian Ceremonies
At a Christian ceremony, the newlyweds are traditionally followed, in order, by: The flower girl and the ring bearer, if they remained at the altar during the ceremony. The maid of honor and the best man. The bridesmaids and groomsmen.
During the reception it is customary for the father of the bride to make a short speech, thanking the guests and those that have helped with the wedding planning, and talking a little about his daughter and new son-in-law. At the end of the speech the father of the bride usually proposes a toast to the happy couple.
A mother of the bride speech should:
Pay tribute to the bride and share stories and memories of her from childhood and today. Talk about meeting their new husband or wife for the first time, getting to know them and welcoming them into the family. Offer wise and funny advice to the couple.
The groom's speech traditionally comes at the end of the wedding breakfast. It's part of the transition from the formalities of the day into the party.
Raise a glass to your guests and new spouse. A toast by the newlyweds during the reception isn't required, but it is a welcomed and thoughtful gesture—one that can also be useful in moving along the evening's events if need be.
We've seen brides give the newlywed speech, and we've seen best friends give speeches instead of the MOH or best man. If you're going the non-traditional route, we don't recommend an open-mic situation where anyone can speak, and we don't recommend having more than five speeches or guests will start to get restless.
A groom's speech should focus on thanking everyone who has helped make the wedding day special including the mother and father of the bride (or equivalent), the guests, his own parents, the best man, the bridesmaids, ushers, and anyone else who has contributed to the wedding.