“Ideally, the parents are able to communicate on wedding finance between themselves and work out a mutually acceptable arrangement,” says Foss. “But if that isn't possible, then you should speak with the parents in question to find out what they can or are willing to contribute toward the cost of the wedding.
Bride's Parents and/or Family Members
If you're going the very traditional route, the answer to the question “who pays for the wedding?” is “the bride's family.” But you'll see that even in traditional roles, the bride's family doesn't actually pay for everything—but they're definitely a big part of the equation.
Ultimately, the way you decide who pays for the wedding is up to you, your partner, and your families. You might be aware that the bride's family is expected to cover the majority of the wedding day costs, while the groom's family pays for a variety of extra activities, like the rehearsal dinner and the honeymoon.
While traditionally the bride's parents were responsible for hosting (and paying for) the entire celebration, today many couples join both sets of parents in contributing.
As a guide, here's a list of the expenses traditionally covered by the parents of the groom: the wedding rings, officiant's fee, marriage license, the bride's bouquet, boutonnieres and corsages for the immediate family, music (band/DJ), liquor at the reception and the honeymoon.
Sometimes the groom's parents pay for the officiant fees, the marriage license, the bride's bouquet, boutonnieres, and corsages for immediate family members, the liquor, entertainment, and sometimes even the honeymoon!
Unlike the past days where the groom's parents' responsibilities were limited to hosting rehearsal dinner and walking the groom down the aisle, today, their contributions are significant. A recent survey by WeddingWire indicates that the groom's parents cover up to 24% of the wedding plans.
According to a recent survey by The Knot, on average, parents contribute to 51% of the wedding budget, while couples cover the remaining 49% percent.
It's tradition for the bride's family to pay for the ceremony venue, while the groom would pay for the celebrant and the marriage license.
The average wedding held in 2022, including both the ceremony and reception, cost $30,000, according to The Knot. That's the most couples have spent since 2018 ($33,931), before COVID-19. It's also $2,000 more than the 2021 average, which totaled $28,000 for the ceremony and reception.
As a chivalrous and considerate gesture, the groom's family tends to be responsible for the expenses of the flowers that decorate the ceremony, as well as the bride's bouquet. If they wish, this can be extended to also take care of the boutonnieres for the groomsmen and the bouquets for the bridesmaids.
Traditionally, the bride's parents pay for the wedding ceremony and reception which is why they take on the role of host/hostess. This responsibility includes determining the final guest count, making guests feel welcomed and seeing that everything goes smoothly. Oversee the closing of the reception.
Do I Have to Follow Tradition? Traditionally, it is the responsibility of the bride's family – specifically, her mother and father – to pay for most of the wedding. It's not clear exactly how this tradition started, but it's thought to have evolved from the practice of the bride's family paying a dowry to the husband.
Newlyweds paid for roughly 48% of their wedding costs, and their parents typically paid the remainder of the bill (52%). Discuss with your future spouse and both sides of the family what everyone is comfortable paying for.
And this is no small feat or fee—it includes everything from the venues to the décor, transportation, attire, florals, music, food and beverage, and more. This is why the bride's parents typically receive that well-deserved place at the top of a classically composed wedding invitation.
In Christian ceremonies, the bride's mother is always seated last and the groom's mother is seated just before her. The seating of the bride's mother usually signals the ceremony is about to begin.
The mother of the bride should avoid trying to control every aspect of the wedding, criticizing the bride's decisions, or creating unnecessary drama.
Colors a Mother of the Groom Should NOT Wear
You may also want to steer clear of blush, beige, or other light neutral tones that may appear lighter on camera. "Skip black or white, unless the bride and groom have requested it. And do not match the bridal party colors unless requested to do so," says Valiente.
Depending on their relationship with the bride, wedding guests typically give between $50 – $150 when making a monetary gift. As parents of the bride, it's standard to give significantly more. However, you should first consider what is financially comfortable for your budget.
With the evolution of the modern family, compounded by the liberation of both women and LBGTQIA+ communities, there has been anecdotally less responsibility put exclusively on the bride's family. Instead, both families and even the soon-to-be newlyweds step-up to help fund the wedding.
While in some families and cultures, the parents do give a tangible gift to the bridal couple, other families and cultures feel the wedding itself is enough. This means it is completely your choice.
Giving a memorable wedding gift to your son is a wonderful way to celebrate the beginning of a new chapter in his life. As a bonus, it's a beautiful way to remind him of you while you're not in touch.
If the mother of the bride is taking part in the wedding processional, she is traditionally escorted by a close male relative like a son or brother or may enter alone. If the parents are divorced, she may be escorted by her partner. In some cases, a groomsman or best man will escort her down the aisle.
On the day of the wedding, the mother of the bride should be prepared to help the bride with whatever she might need. This might include playing hostess, helping guide out-of-town guests, or being ready with a tissue box!