Who should not be a pallbearer? Young children and the elderly or infirm are not usually suitable to perform this role as it can be physically demanding. In some venues it is possible to wheel the coffin or casket on a 'church truck'. On these occasions you can ask the less physically able to assist.
Pallbearers are usually close family members and friends. Siblings, adult children, grown grandchildren, nieces and nephews, close friends, and colleagues are all common choices for pallbearers. However, anyone can serve as a pallbearer.
The people you choose can be close family members and close friends of the deceased. It's better to pick individuals of the same height so that it's easier to carry the coffin and the weight is evenly distributed. There can be either 6 or 4 pallbearers depending on the weight of the casket.
Participating in a funeral as a pallbearer is a time-honored tradition and a sign of trust. It's both an honor and a responsibility. After all, you have been asked to accompany a dearly loved person to their final resting place, which means the family trusts and values you.
Pallbearers will have to carry the casket with the body inside, so they will have to transport the body's weight and the coffin. 370 to 400 pounds is the final weight that pallbearers will carry if the casket is standard sized, 200 pounds heavy, whereas the adult body is 200 pounds (male) or 170 pounds (female).
Usually the head end of the coffin is the heaviest, thus the strongest two of your six pallbearers should take the handles at this end.
In many funerals, the pallbearers are seated together in a special section of the funeral setting as a group. When most or all of the pallbearers are family members, they may choose to be seated with their family.
Whether it is a father, mother, son, daughter, uncle, aunt, cousin, husband, wife, or best friend, it is crucial that a pallbearer is emotionally, mentally and physically capable of carrying out the task. If any person is unfit mentally, emotionally or physically, they can serve as an honorary pallbearer.
Due to this heaviness, pallbearers are typically males over the age of 16. However, women can also serve as pallbearers. Those chosen are often close to the departed or the bereaved family.
If you feel like this, or you don't want to be a pallbearer for any other reason, you don't have to accept. You can politely tell the person who has asked you that you don't want to do it, and explain your reasons.
Or, you may have been selected because of your physical strength. Being a pallbearer requires that you help carry a heavy coffin at waist height with the help of five to seven other pallbearers. The weight of both the decedent and the casket varies but expect to help bear 300 pounds of weight or more.
Pallbearers need to dress appropriately. Unless the bereaved specify otherwise, men should wear dark, solid suits with white shirts and conservative ties, and women should wear dark pantsuits or dresses.
Coffins are carried feet first simply because of health and safety, rather than any kind of ceremonial tradition.
The family usually chooses pallbearers who are close friends and knows the deceased well. If you are chosen to be a pallbearer, you should arrive at the church or funeral home thirty minutes early.
The traditional format regarding the number of pallbearers is 6, primarily due to the length of the standard casket, so that 3 people on either side can conveniently carry the casket. Most caskets have additional handles at each end which will accommodate 2 more bearers.
Conventionally, you will see men as pallbearers. However, women can also serve as pallbearers at a funeral. It depends on who volunteers for it and whether all the family members are on board with the decision.
Carrying the coffin is often an emotionally-charged experience, one which makes a person's death seem very real. It can be an important way for you to say goodbye to the person who has died, supporting them and accompanying them on their final journey.
Know the weight of the person in the coffin and bear in mind that wooden coffins are also quite heavy, adding up to 20kg. If the load is more than 90kgs (14 stones) you will need six bearers. If the load is more than 125 kilos (20 stones), you should think very carefully about carrying the coffin.
It is a common practice to cover the legs as there is swelling in the feet and shoes don't fit. As part of funeral care, the body is dressed and preserved, with the prime focus on the face. Post embalming, bodies are often placed without shoes; hence covering the legs is the way to offer a dignified funeral.
Anyone you choose can serve as a pallbearer at your funeral. As pallbearers are the individuals who escort the casket, if there is no casket, or a cremation was planned rather than a burial, there is, in this case, no need for pallbearers and would only be appropriate if there will be a casket present for the service.
It is not common to see women carrying the casket, but that is not to say that there is anything wrong with women taking up this honourable duty in a funeral service.
Pallbearers typically sit together in one of the first rows on the right. At some funerals, pallbearers sit with their family or friends in the congregation. If this is the case, just make sure that you speak with the funeral director so you understand when you are required to leave your seat to help move the casket.
Pallbearer etiquette
Carry the coffin with dignity and respect. Carefully follow the funeral director's instructions. Wear smart and appropriate attire. Walk slowly and steadily. Arrive at the funeral slightly early.
As early as the 1700s, gloves were given to pallbearers by the deceased's family to handle the casket. They were a symbol of purity, and considered a symbol of respect and honor.
The officiant will usually lead the procession and pallbearers carrying the coffin tend to follow. Immediate family and close friends will often walk behind the coffin, followed by other guests.