Who should say 'I love you' first? Either partner can say “I love you” first. If you're feeling it and want your partner to know, it's OK to be the one who takes the plunge. In 2011, a study on relationship commitment among college students found most of them believed women generally say “I love you” first.
In a 2022 study that included over 1,400 participants, researchers discovered that men usually say “I love you” before women do, a tendency that held true across the US and 6 countries that were included in the study's results.
Men usually say it first, and it's for the reason you think
In fact, they think about saying it about six weeks earlier than women do. Why this is the case comes down to biology. Men want to spread their genes and saying "I love you” to a potential mate helps them achieve that goal faster.
Should you say it first? Well, "someone has to say it first," Firstein says. So, don't feel intimidated if you've been waiting for your partner to say those three little words. It's possible that they are having the same hesitation you are, not because they don't feel it, but because they want to know if you do first.
While early relationship feels (and hormones) can be intoxicating, relationship experts warn that it might be a red flag if you or your partner is too quick to say, “I love you.”
The question of when to say “I love you” in a relationship is a contentious one. In the many conversations I've had on the topic, the consensus seems to be that three months in is the sweet spot.
If they haven't told you that they love you, this may be a sign that they're emotionally unavailable or detached from their feelings. For example, there are people who are unable to really open up and share their true feelings with a partner because they don't want to appear weak or vulnerable.
Many men actually fall in love pretty fast On average, it can take a man a few months (around 88 days,) before he's in love. Of course, it depends on the man. Often a younger man falls in love faster, while an older man may take a while.
There is no definite rule that states either the guy or the lady should say I love you first. This is why people ask who should say I love you first. However, when he says I love you first, you must have seen the signs coming. Here are some signs that let you know he is close to confessing his feelings.
According to research and surveys, most people agree that anywhere between 3 and 5 months after you start dating is the right time to say love you to your partner for the first time.
Men typically say "I love you" first, but there is nothing wrong with a woman saying it first. Whether you get the response you want or not, it will feel good to say those words and get it off your chest.
Don't Avoid Saying It in Person
This can be especially true for long-distance relationships. But, an "I love you" text shouldn't be used in the place of saying it in person.
Physical attraction, sexual compatibility, empathy, and emotional connection are key to making a man fall in love with a woman.
They show empathy — in good times and bad
“Someone in love will care about your feelings and your well-being,” Dr. Flores said. “If he or she is able to show empathy or is upset when you are, not only do they have your back, but they also probably have strong feelings for you.”
Men are similarly socialized to believe that marriage is something that they won't like and should avoid for as long as possible. Men hesitate to use the words “I love you” for fear of giving the impression that it is only a matter of time before the ring follows.
But if your partner doesn't say "I love you" ever, or hasn't said it yet at all, don't hesitate to have a conversation if you feel it necessary. Leckie suggests approaching it with caution. "You wouldn't want to ask them to say it more, because then it may come across as not being genuine," she says.
This depends entirely on the man. Some men might consider it excessively needy, while others might be flattered and respond accordingly. However, it is usually wiser for the woman to wait until the man uses this expression first. Moreover, some men tend to express their "love" in actions rather than words.