The core cause of insecurities in a relationship is often a lack of self-love. If one partner holds on to harmful limiting beliefs, like being afraid of failure or thinking that they don't deserve love, they won't be able to trust completely – and trust is the foundation of any relationship.
Relationship insecurity can be caused by many different things, but it is often the result of feeling abandoned, neglected, or not good enough. There are signs that indicate your relationship is unhealthy and you may be feeling insecure for a reason.
Feelings of insecurity or rejection are extremely common in all types of relationships. And they can be very hard to deal with. Relationship insecurities can be linked to attachment style. If you're insecurely attached to your partner, you might be more likely to feel anxious about their feelings for you.
The root cause of insecurity is often low self-esteem or a lack of self-confidence. In a relationship, this may take the form of the insecure partner constantly requesting reassurance and validation from the other.
“Some of the most common insecurities and relationships include emotional insecurity, attachment insecurity, physical insecurity, financial insecurity, professional insecurity, and social insecurity,” explains LaTonya P.
Insecurity fuels a lack of emotional confidence and security, which can lead to major issues in a relationship. It's also worth noting that this is not the same thing as a lack of trust. "You may have all the trust in the world that your partner isn't going to cheat on you but still feel insecure," says Jeney.
The kind of childhood you had, past traumas, recent experiences of failure or rejection, loneliness, social anxiety, negative beliefs about yourself, perfectionism, or having a critical parent or partner can all contribute to insecurity.
The core cause of insecurities in a relationship is often a lack of self-love. If one partner holds on to harmful limiting beliefs, like being afraid of failure or thinking that they don't deserve love, they won't be able to trust completely – and trust is the foundation of any relationship.
Not all forms fit neatly into categories either, but some of the most common types of insecurity include relationship insecurity, social insecurity, body image insecurity, job insecurity, and insecurity of basic needs.
A root fear: Overthinking stems from a particular insecurity or root fear. This insecurity may be from childhood, a past relationship, or general low self-esteem or trust issues.
Red flags in a relationship include excessive jealousy and frequent lying. You should also be wary of a partner who frequently criticizes you or puts you down. Another major red flag is an unwillingness to compromise — relationships shouldn't be one-sided.
In romantic relationships, insecurity can drive you to unhelpful thoughts and behaviors, which can include: Incessantly checking up on your partner if you're not with them to determine their whereabouts. Not trusting your partner to stay faithful to you and constantly worrying that they're cheating on you.
Jealousy may be driven by low self-esteem or a poor self-image. If you don't feel attractive and confident, it can be hard to truly believe that your partner loves and values you. Other times, jealousy can be caused by unrealistic expectations about the relationship.
Communicate openly and honestly with your partner.
If you're feeling insecure, make sure to communicate openly and honestly with your partner. Tell them how you're feeling and why. It's also important to listen to what they have to say. They might have their own insecurities or triggers that you're not aware of.
“Men feel insecure about being seen as less-than,” says marriage and family therapist Hanalei Vierra, Ph. D. “Less than strong enough, less than smart enough, less than sexy enough, less than good-looking enough, less than funny enough, less than competent enough.”
The fear of being socially judged is one of the most common forms of insecurity. Some people feel self-conscious, anxious, and fearful when in front of others. It doesn't matter whether it's a group of colleagues or family members. This can extend to even the smallest of social encounters like a date.